


Catsmas

by cymyguy



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Christmas, Elementary School, F/M, Family Issues, Graduate School, Haikyuu Secret Santa 2017, M/M, Pets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-02
Updated: 2018-01-02
Packaged: 2019-02-27 06:35:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 28,962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13242543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cymyguy/pseuds/cymyguy
Summary: My (very late) gift to sound-of-inspiration on tumblrOikawa is a grad student, Iwaizumi is a teacher, they live on the same floor, and they each have a cat.





	1. Part 1

On a Saturday evening, the last day of September, Oikawa Tooru sat in his apartment on the couch, reading articles on his phone, with a textbook in his lap. He had never had a high rate of productivity while waiting for something. And there it was, the knock on the door.

“It’s open.”

“I can’t see you, so I’m pretty sure it’s not,” was the reply.

He grumbled as he went to the door. He opened it and flinched back at the sight of the cat in his brother’s arms.

“Gah! You just carry the thing around, no cage no leash, for goodness sake.”

“He’s tame, Tooru, he’s a domesticated animal. He’s lived with us for two years.”

“And he’s hated me for two years, at what point did your twisted mind hit override and decide this was going to work out?”

“It’s an improvement strategy I’m trying out. Tobio needs to learn to be more flexible to new environments, and you need to learn how to put someone else’s needs before yours.”

“I’m a selfish asshole and this animal will be the magical cure for that? That’s what you believe?”

“Three roommates, Tooru.”

“Oh my gosh, not this—”

“Three roommates, all less than six months. In seven years out on your own. Obviously you’re not mature enough for human companionship, so we’re going to start you out smaller, and build on it. Here.” He held out the cat. “This is Tobio.”

“You’ve said yourself I’m not a giving person, what makes you think I can take care of it?”

“We’ve told you, cats are really easy, they’re self-sufficient when it comes to exercise, grooming, and affection.”

“Well I’m certainly going to enjoy walking in on self-affection.”

“He’ll just be good company.”

“Is it intelligent? Because if there’s a fire and I’m choosing what to save, there’s at least four or five things above him on the list.”

“You won’t have to worry about fires, he’s totally used to them, being Satan’s spawn and all.”

“Are you sure you can’t sneak it into your new place? It’s quiet, right? Who would ever find out?”

“Another thing you don’t understand about what life’s like for real people, being left to your own devices at that same store forever. When I get a new job, it’s not a good strike against me to be caught breaking the rules of their housing unit during the first few months. You see what I’m saying?”

The younger Oikawa was barely listening, because he had caught the eye of the black animal and both were determined not to look away. The elder scowled and covered the cat’s face.

“You know I’m busy. He’s gonna be alone a lot,” Tooru said.

“I know, and trust me, he likes it that way.”

“I’m on a budget, so if I can’t feed him it’s either back to you or back to the shelter.”

“That’s another thing that’ll be good for you. You won’t be able to buy so many shoes.”

He bent over and set the cat next to his brother’s feet. The cat and brother both looked at him.

“He’s good with the litterbox and good on his shots. All you have to do is feed him and make sure he doesn’t get lost.”

“A litterbox? I am not keeping that in my apartment! It’s an eyesore and even if I do put it out of sight people will still know it’s there.”

“What people?” he grinned. “I’ll go get it out of my car.”

“Well don’t leave the thing here, I’m not ready yet! Give me a minute to prepare. Teijo!”

The cat took off down the hall, with dainty but sure steps.

“Yes, go, follow him. And get lost on the way,” he hissed.

But his brother returned with the cat at his heels, and handed the litter box over to Tooru.

“Remember you’re doing this for your nephew, the poor kid who has to give up his pet that slept in his room and ate from his hand. He didn’t want him to go to just anyone. He’s trusting you.”

“I know I know. And FYI, nothing that either of you said was at all convincing, I only agreed to it for his sake.”

“Yeah, we know. I gotta get to IPL before it closes, so bye. Bye Tobio, you stay here. Tooru—” he pointed at him—“In all seriousness, if you give him so much as one kick I will be able to tell, and I will be able to justify beating your ass.”

He scoffed. “I’m not a psychopath, I just don’t like animals! Not even every animal, just this animal. Geez.”

Teijo set his foot in front of the cat. “Pick him up or he’s gonna try to follow me.”

“It’s a little too soon in our relationship to initiate heavy petting.”

“Come on, I gotta go.”

He glared, then rolled his eyes, then picked the cat up and lifted it a small distance, dropping it the few inches onto the carpet inside. He put out his foot to block its way.

“Bye bye Tobi. Bye Tooru.”

“You can expect us there within a few hours.”

“And you can expect a locked door.”

“Bye.”

Oikawa shut the door, crossed his arms, and pouted his lip. The cat looked at him, at the door, and back.

“Welcome, Tobio, to my so-called life. Rule number one—This is my house. Not yours. Number two. You’re starting out with three available strikes. That means three accidents, or three instances of destruction, or three attempts on my life, or any combination of those, and you’re out. Rule number three. N—”

The cat turned with its tail up and walked away.

“Hey! I don’t think you understand the gravity of your situation here. Let me tell you it’s not a long drive to the shelter, and they do allow caged animals on the bus. Number three is my room is off limits! If I catch you in there it’ll be an automatic eviction, do you hear me?”

 

He lived in the virtually silent basement of a small apartment complex, and was rather irritated to find that the cat added not a sound to the placid environment. It was nearing the 24th hour after Tobio’s arrival when there was a disturbance of the peace, but it didn’t come from inside, it came from out in the hall.

He easily deduced that it was a move-in and dismissed it as of no interest to him, until about half an hour of thudding boxes and low voices, and sufficient time for the menswear winter catalog to get boring. He heaved himself off the couch and went to take a look.

Oikawa was at the end on the right side; the movers were on the left, in about the middle of the hall just before the stairs. At the moment there was only one man in sight, squatting low to pick up a cardboard box. When he turned to take it through the open door Oikawa caught a quick sideview. He looked fairly young, dark hair and a healthy color to his skin. The peeker held his patience for a moment, and the young man did come back. And turned fully toward the end of the hall. Oikawa slammed the door almost before he knew what he had seen.

“Holy—shit! Who _is_ that?”

The cat was tensed and staring at him from across the room.

“There’s—a guy out there—Young, and—A demigod, Hercules I mean. That’s exactly what I mean. I swear Tobio, go see for yourself!”

He groaned through his teeth and pressed himself against the door.

“He must be the moving guy. I’d never be lucky enough to get that type coming here to stay. I haven’t been in three years, and it’s not as if my consciousness of karma has earned me some reward. Wait! This is a punishment. Of course. He’s been sent as a tool of torture, they’re going to mock me with something I can’t have. Or use him as leverage to correct my behaviors. Either way, this makes much more sense...”

His head was silent for a moment. Then he pushed himself away from the door.

“Well something you should know about me, Tobio, is that I’m not one to skirt around something that’s put intentionally in my way. If you’ll excuse me.”

He whipped open the door, and paused on the threshold, taking a careful peek down the hall. Now there was a second young man, clean-cut and sturdily built. But this was all he noticed, once the other came back into the hall. He wore black jeans and a grayish blue jacket over a hoodie. The getup on its own wasn’t nearly enough to impress Oikawa, but there was a powerful factor in that the clothes were not wearing the young man, they were most certainly being worn by him.

Tooru had yet to be caught in his spying, so he went out quickly to maintain that bit of dignity.

“Need some help?”

The two looked at him.

“Actually,” said the demigod, “We’ve got everything in. But thanks. Was that you slamming the door earlier?”

“I thought it was you,” Oikawa said. “I was expecting crushed organs, or at least a broken foot.”

The smallest half smile tweaked his mouth. “Sounds like you were hoping.”

“Give it a few weeks in this place and you’ll understand. Or, is it you moving in?” he said to the sturdy one. “Or are you together? Married?”

He had just spotted a ring on the second man, but he had already eyed hard and not seen one on the first.

“He’s just a buddy of mine helping out,” the demigod said. “He’s married, new dad.”

“Oh wow, congratulations!”

“Thanks. I’m Daichi,” said the second.

“Oikawa Tooru, from the end of the hall.”

“Iwaizumi Hajime,” was how he introduced himself.

“I’m gonna head out now,” said Daichi.

“Yeah, thanks a lot man. I’ll buy you lunch sometime.”

“We’ll see you. Have a good night,” he said to Oikawa, with a wave.

“Yeah, you too, nice meeting you.” He waited only until Daichi had put his foot to the first step. “What brings you to a new apartment, Iwaizumi?”

“Closer to work.”

“And what is your occupation, may I ask?”

“I’m a teacher.”

“Are you really? What level, or what area?”

“Elementary math.”

“I’ll call you Iwaizumi-sensei, then,” he smirked. “I’m a grad student.”

“What field?”

“Human Resources Management, is the technical term.”

“And the layman’s term is ‘how to manipulate the masses while simultaneously making them believe they are not being manipulated.’”

“I’m here to help woefully embittered people like you.”

“You have a cat?”

“What?”

Oikawa turned around. Tobio was padding down the hall toward them.

“Oh, that. It’s my nephew’s.”

“I have one.”

“You’re a cat person?”

“A convert.” He bent down to a small carrying kennel. “Shoyo really likes friends, do you mind if I introduce them?”

“Yeah sure. No I don’t mind. By all means.”

Iwaizumi pinched the gears together and opened the door, and a burst of orange fluff zipped down the hall toward the other animal.

“Shoyo’s your cat? That’s cute,” he teased, “Where did you—”

There was a violent hiss and Oikawa turned just as Tobio swatted at the thief of his personal space. The orange cat was quick enough to spring out of reach, but was incensed by the action and pounced without hesitation. They started to brawl.

“Hey! Shoyo knock it off!”

Iwaizumi rushed past him and bent down toward the furry blur. He swiped with a wild hand and managed to grab his cat under the belly, but when he pulled Shoyo away the black cat came clawing up his arm, latching on so that he was lifted half a foot from the ground before Iwaizumi shook him off.

“Gosh! What the—”

“Oh my gosh I’m so sorry! Oh my gosh Tobio, you are gonna—”

“You could’ve told me it doesn’t like strangers,” Iwaizumi said.

“It’s not you, he’s just a bastard of an animal in general. Tobio—”

“Why the hell would you let me take mine out if yours is so pissy?”

“I told you it’s not mine! My brother just dropped him off here, I don’t even like this cat.”

“Well you could’ve said that then. I’ll keep Shoyo away from both of you.”

He stepped around him toward the open apartment.

“Um, excuse me, but your animal was in fact just as ready to fight, and he’s the one who ran up to Tobio, guns loaded, what’s he supposed to think? And your _Shoyo_ looks like mischief, it’s obviously an instigator.”

“Defending itself from a bigger aggressive animal makes it an instigator?”

“Yes that’s what I’m saying.”

“Your cat mauled me.”

“How can you prove yours wouldn’t have done the same to me if I stepped in?”

“It’s pretty obvious from everything about you that you weren’t going to do that.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“Sorry, it was my fault. We’re usually good about staying away from arrogant pricks, so it won’t happen again.”

He shut the door, leaving several boxes in the hall.

“Ah! Ah ha! Well I’m glad I found out on the first day that you’re a rude fucking asshole, now I won’t have to waste any time making you feel welcome.”

And he returned to his own place, with ill feelings toward the neighbor and the cat.

“What the hell’s with that, huh? You’re already causing me trouble and it’s social trouble, the kind I pretty obviously don’t need any help stirring up. You wanna go back to the shelter, is that it? You prefer that to staying here? Because I’ll tell you right now I prefer that too, so keep it up with the 24 hours per strike and we’ll both be happy again before we know it.”

He folded his arms tighter, and lolled his head toward the other shoulder.

“But I’ll acknowledge it wasn’t all your fault. If there’s one thing I can’t stand in a person it’s a shallowly-based temper. You’re an animal, you’re gonna defend yourself, I think that’s a given. Total dick. Chalk him up as another neighbor I won’t ever associate with, and for good reason, this time.”

 

But what was the likelihood of their never meeting again? The next time he saw the newcomer was the following Thursday, when he himself was heading out for a 5 o’clock shift and Iwaizumi was coming home. They met as the teacher stepped off the stairs. Oikawa had every intention of ignoring him, after he had confirmed it was him, of course, but that plan was interrupted by the fact that Iwaizumi was in slacks and a tie, and that his rolled sleeves did a poor job of hiding the _tattoos_.

“Hey.”

“No need to fake pleasantries,” Oikawa said, now able to look past him.

“It wasn’t fake. I’m sorry about the other day. Really.”

To anyone who wasn’t accustomed, Oikawa’s brow raise was spectacular.

“What’s your excuse?”

“Well I was tired, sick of throwing around boxes of shit, and I—No, never mind. There’s no excuse for being a dick except that I was a dick.”

“I—didn’t say dick, specifically. And the cat’s vaccinated, so you don’t have to worry about that.”

“Yeah, it’s all good. Looks fine, right?”

He bent his forearm up for examination. There was a grouping of dark indents, and short scrapes running down from two of these. But what Oikawa really looked at was the inking of a tiny cityscape horizon, which was situated just below the inside of his elbow. And there was a circlet of black somethings which gave the illusion of a spikey bracelet around his wrist.

“You going to work or what?” said Iwaizumi.

“I—am—Yeah, I am.”

“Where do you work?”

“A department store.”

“Which one?”

“Milligin’s.”

“I get a lot of my work clothes there.”

Oikawa smiled.

“Oh really. You are one lucky dick, Iwaizumi, as you now happen to be neighbor to the head of the men’s division. I can get you inside information.”

“Get out, is that full time? And you’re in grad school?”

“Yes yes, but I love that job, it’s forty hours of therapy to recover from my education. But seriously, I’ll hook you the fuck up. Stop by as soon as you can, because—Well, just come and see me.”

He gave a low snort and turned to unlock his door. “I’ll take a pass on that. I work with kids.”

“What are you implying?”

“See you around.”

“See me around the mini mall, Iwaizumi. Bye bye.”

So much for denouncing him. In a sick turn of events, thoughts of the neighbor followed him back and forth from the selling floor to his desk. He had to admit that though he didn’t know him, he was weak to the concept of this man. A well-built, but not grossly sculpted, teacher, with tattoos and two gold half hoops in one ear, and a face not particularly inviting but certainly handsome. He cut his lunchbreak short upon finding himself suddenly in the middle of a schoolroom fantasy.

“For the love of all things, Tooru.”

It lingered in his head as he exited the offices; the unbuttoning of a shirt, a godly chest, a tie hanging loose around his bare neck…

 

On a Monday Oikawa returned from the library at half past nine, and no more than twenty minutes later heard a knock on his door. He frowned as his thoughts flew.

“It’s open.”

He nearly refused to believe his wish had been granted when the teacher opened the door. But there was something about Iwaizumi that could not be refused, could not be dismissed as fantasy.

“Hey. I’ve been trying to catch you all evening, sorry if this is a bad time.”

“We’re neighbors now, Iwaizumi, it’s never a bad time.”

He eyed him. “Okay. Sorry, but I—uh—need to ask you a favor, a pretty big one, given that we don’t know each other at all.”

“Attention successfully engaged, what is this big favor?”

“Um, it’s teacher’s convention this week, so I’m going to a conference Thursday and Friday, and I need someone to watch my cat. So, since I’m on speaking terms with you and know you have your own cat, I was hoping I could get you to do it.”

“Hm.” He feigned thoughtfulness, when really he was taking the all too rare opportunity to check him out. “Watch your cat? As in feed it, walk it, let it sleep in my bed? All of the above?”

“No, just the feeding, and just—to pop in every once in a while, if you would. My cat really hates being alone, Shoyo needs to know someone’s there or the feelings of abandonment will lead to mass destruction.”

“Ah, I see. Is it a sly creature? Before you answer I should remind you that there is some evidence to the positive.”

“Well if that thing’s involved,” he gestured to the cat on top of the fridge, “Then there’s going to be a lot of trouble, but otherwise no, not at all. Practically an angel.”

“High praise for our crotch-licking hairballs.”

“I’m dead serious about that, they can’t be together. You have to keep yours outside my apartment at all times.”

“I’m starting to think it’s a baby I’m being asked to watch. Do you have a jaded love life, Iwaizumi?”

“No. Shut up.”

“So this conference, it’s about what?” said Oikawa.

“It’s a workshop series on how teachers can approach the mid-level and high-level students in a fair way. Since a lot of the training focuses on trying to raise up the low-level, I want to go to this one to help round myself out.”

“Are we going off the assumption that high level kids are given special treatment, or that high level kids are neglected to a degree because teachers tend to base their pace on the progress of the middle group?”

“Well I wouldn’t say neglected.” He folded his arms. “Yeah, there’s cases where an advanced kid is bored and unoccupied, but usually that’s not the teacher’s fault, intentionally, because the fact is the majority of people aren’t born with a brain like yours. Most people are born with a brain more like mine. And there’s nothing wrong with that, but even young kids seem to think, or, they’re taught to think, that there is. So my job is to make all three groups feel equally involved, like they’re in coordination with the class as a whole.”

He was smirking. “How can you say a brain like mine? You don’t even know me.”

“I can tell. People like me can tell who the gifted ones are. It doesn’t work so easily the other way around.”

“How can you tell?”

“We just can.” He leaned against the doorframe, arms still crossed. “How old are you?”

“Twenty-five,” he said promptly.

“Same.”

“You haven’t been teaching long, then.”

“This is my third year. How much school do you have left?”

“Last semester. I present my thesis in December.”

“You going for your doctorate?”

“No. Not for a while, at least.” He did not leave a pause long enough for Iwaizumi to excuse himself. “How many tattoos do you have?”

“Uh, ten…No, eleven.”

“Are you the cool teacher?” he purred. “Or the scary one?”

“They don’t care at that age. I’m probably among the most disliked just for my subject.”

“So you feel unappreciated.”

He rolled his eyes. “No.”

“Are you a hard-ass?”

“Do you think I am?”

“I do, absolutely.”

He half smiled. “Yeah, I kind of am.”

“Do you like your job?”

“Love it. What about you, why do you need to go to school if you love your nine to five?”

“I love school too. And I come from a very proud family,” he said. “I’m proud of being educated.”

“Well to me pride’s a better motive than money, even though they both make you an asshole.”

He scoffed. “Are you always on your high horse? This asshole agreed to take care of your precious pet.”

“No you didn’t, until just now. You have time?”

“I’ll make time.”

“Thank you,” he said, standing up straight. “I seriously appreciate it, because no one else in this building will even talk to me, let alone do me a favor.”

“So you’d be kind of screwed if I refused,” Oikawa smiled.

“Yeah yeah. I’ll pay you if you want, if you’re a broke college kid or whatever.”

“I’m not.”

“You’d be too proud to take it anyway, right?” He backed through the door. “I’m leaving Wednesday night, so you just have to check Thursday and Friday a few times.”

“You know I’m a cat whisperer,” he called. “Two days together and its heart may already belong to me.”

“Shoyo has no standards, I’m sure you’ll manage it in one.”

 

On Wednesday morning, as Oikawa was passing by on his way out, he stopped at Iwaizumi’s door because he had distinctly heard an animal cry. The yowl came again, and he didn’t need to lean closer to know it came from inside, and that it must be Shoyo. He knocked, and waited. There was one more insistent cry, but no one answered the door. He left gingerly.

When he returned from his closing shift, there was no odd noise, but there was a sticky note on his door as a reminder, with instructions in overtly teachery handwriting. He took the note inside and read it to the cat sitting on the kitchen counter.

“Food in container on top of fridge, bowls on floor next to fridge, do not leave container open, Sho never misses an opportunity.”

He tossed his bag onto the couch and left for Iwaizumi’s apartment. As he approached he heard the yowling again, and since the cat was now on his watch it made him hurry. He removed the key taped to the back of the note and opened the door. The cat was stretched out on the kitchen floor, and had stopped crying to stare at him.

“What’s all this wailing about? There’s gonna be more people than me barging in here if you keep that up.”

He had hardly finished his spiel before the cat was up and coming to him. He shut the door, thinking it was aiming for an escape, but it came right to his ankles and started to rub against him in earnest.

“Well what the hell. You already have separation anxiety? Poor lonely sucker.” He knelt down and put his hand lightly on its back. “Are you happy to see me? Or have you just not realized yet who I am?”

The cat leaned into his touch, so he moved his hand and scratched deep at its neck. It let out a series of short purrs. Oikawa was miffed so that he couldn’t even find words. Five minutes of petting led to fifteen minutes sitting with the cat in his lap, cuddling and rubbing its precious fuzzy face seemingly anywhere it could reach. The young man sat in mostly silence, as this was  not the feline experience he was used to.

Eventually he came to himself and reasoned that only an idiot would refrain from using this opportunity to snoop through a saint’s apartment. When he tried to displace the cat it meowed aggressively, so he held it in his arms as he stood, and it wedged its face between his bicep and body.

“Pf. Well his cat’s definitely weird. Let’s see what else we have here.”

There were two bookcases in the living area, both full. There was also a stack on the coffee table, a pile on top of the fridge, and a neat row of hardcovers on the kitchen counter that seemed to serve as decoration. The only other object for that purpose was a framed Godzilla poster on the wall at the near end of the bedroom hallway. Oikawa opened the doors on the bottom of the miniature entertainment center and found stacks of DVDs. Disney, Bruce Lee, six seasons of _Friends_. And this cat, which now had its front feet on his chest and its head against his neck. He took one more sweeping look around the place.

“This has successfully reduced my fantasies to shreds. What a bore you are, Iwaizumi Hajime.”

He set the cat down. It followed him to the door.

“I’ll be back, don’t get so worked up. You’ll lose hair.”

 

Iwaizumi had failed to mention what a tremendous crybaby the animal was. As Oikawa came and went on Thursday and Friday he was worried that at some point he would find the door forced open by Animal Control. On Friday he had only classes and no work, so he came straight home and walked in on the wailing pet.

“Are you dying in here?”

It came running and he picked it up.

“Seriously, what is the matter? Are you in pain?”

The cat looked fine on the outside.

“You know he’s coming back, he didn’t abandon you. He’ll be back tomorrow, so can you just cool it?” He bounced it a little. “Must you have attention in every waking moment? How do you survive while he’s at school?”

For ten minutes he showered it with all the affection which he was capable of. Then he left, only to have it crying before he was halfway down the hall. But he let it cry, for a solid fifteen minutes, before marching back over, praying against the leaden lump in his gut that something wasn’t seriously wrong.

He didn’t notice until he got to the door that Tobio had followed him.

“No, Tobio, you go back.”

He opened the door a crack and the black cat inched forward.

“You’re not coming in here. No.”

Oikawa shut him out and went to the distressed pet, which was rolling around on the living room rug.

“What is it?” he demanded, standing over it with his hands on his hips. “Do you have fleas? Worms? Do I have to sing you to sleep? There’s no possible way that you’re hungry again.”

The cat was on its back and looking up at him.

“What?”

A fainter, but no less demanding, cat voice was heard.

“Hey! Tobio don’t you dare compound this problem, I don’t want a peep out of you.” He turned to go out again. “This idiot didn’t even leave me a phone number, what the hell am I supposed to do…” He turned with his hand on the doorknob. “I don’t care what you do, but don’t die. He’ll be back tomorrow, so just hold on until then. He can have the job of figuring you out.”

Oikawa opened the door and had to stop Tobio’s entrance with a firm foot.

“No. Off limits. You’re not even welcome in your own home, what makes you think other people would let you into theirs? Out, out, come on.”

He closed himself and Tobio off from the apartment.

“Let’s go.”

He had not taken two steps when the unholy shrieking started again.

“Oh my go—”

The black cat meowed at the door, low and drawn out. Oikawa stepped back and frowned at him. The crying came, in a relentless series. When it was finished, Tobio let out another mew. The man looked from the cat to the door.

“A—Ohh. Is he lonely? Can you tell that, you can understand what he means?”

The black cat meowed again, and that was a good enough answer for Tooru.

“So he doesn’t want my company, he just wants to play. Well I’ll let you in there if you promise to shut him up.”

There was another yowl, and he put his hand on the door.

“Tobio, are you gonna play nice? I’m not starting a fight club, you know. Are you gonna be nice?”

The cat stared. He pushed open the door.

“Go then.”

Tobio slipped past his legs and through the opening.

“I’ll be back in about an hour, unless I hear something suspicious, got it?”

He listened at the door for a moment. There was one earnest meow. And then there was nothing. He smiled.

When Oikawa came to remove his cat, it was still quiet, and he found both animals curled up on the couch, Shoyo on the cushion and Tobio balancing on the back. The orange cat was bleary-eyed and sleepy; Tobio was alert, but allowed himself to be picked up without the usual fuss. When Oikawa set him down in the hall he hightailed it to the other apartment, and that was how the petsitting adventure ended.

 

He didn’t speak to Iwaizumi until five days later, when they crossed paths in the hall again.

“Hey, how are you?”

“Fine, I’m fine,” said the student.

“I haven’t talked to you since you watched my cat, and I didn’t even think to give you my number until after I left. But the fuzzball was alive when I came back, so I didn’t have to come banging on your door.”

He laughed light. “No, it was fine. It’s—kind of a little sweetheart, isn’t it.”

Iwaizumi snorted. “You got seduced instead of the other way around, huh.”

“As if it doesn’t have you wrapped around its teeny paw, Mr. I-work-with-children-for-a-living.”

“Of course, but I’d never deny it. I’ll let you go now, if I make you late you’ll be on their naughty list before December even gets here. Thanks again, for helping me out.”

“Yeah. No problem,” he said to his back.

His broad back.

 

They didn’t see each other much in the following weeks, but the few snatches of conversation were enough to instill in Oikawa a schoolboy’s crush, for which he hated himself. He lived for their meetings, it was the highlight of his day and often his week. His favorite thing was catching Iwaizumi still in his work clothes; his sleeves were always rolled up in an untidy way, which irked the perfectionist in Oikawa, but Iwaizumi was so put together everywhere else that it was made up for. By put together, he meant in the shoulders, and in the groove of his inked arms. This was the Iwaizumi he pictured when he had a mind to think of him, until the fated Saturday when his vision was forever changed.

He was going in to work in the morning. When he opened the door, the first thing he saw was Iwaizumi in the hall in front of him. He was in grey sweatpants and a dark blue tshirt and carried a laundry basket against his hip. Then, he turned and looked over his shoulder, and nodded at Oikawa. And the student backed into his apartment and shut the door, hard.

He had to recover from a serious spasm of being turned on. It was domestic bliss right before his eyes, and no look could ever do this man more justice than that one.

“This is sick,” he hissed at the cat. “Un fucking fair. Somehow I feel like you’re using your demonic powers to curse my fate.”

Before his second exit he made sure to check that the hall was empty.

 

It was now November, and Oikawa was swamped and slogging through the increasing pace at school and work. He would not be relaxing over the Thanksgiving break, as it was of course the biggest shopping day of the year. On the Wednesday before the holiday Iwaizumi packed up some clothes and his cat and was headed for the stairs, when he thought a moment of the neighbor he hadn’t seen in a week, and hadn’t spoken to in longer than that. He changed his course and went to knock at the end of the hall.

There was no answer. He debated there in front of the door until he realized it was not a good situation to be found in. Then he returned to his apartment, grabbed a sticky note, and wrote a determinedly casual message.

When Oikawa came home at seven he found it on his door, and read:

“Happy holiday. Shoyo’s making the trip with me this time. Don’t work to death.”

It was unsigned. Oikawa deflated a little as he went inside. He scolded himself for being excited over a note like the starstruck middle schooler he thought he had outgrown. But he couldn’t help it, really. The cat was waiting by his empty food dish.

“For goodness sake, what kind of companion animal are you? No greeting, no compassion, after a long-ass brutally busy day of work I’m met with nothing but those adorably demanding eyes. He at least could’ve offered to take you away for the weekend too, and repay the favor.”

He fed the cat.

“There you go. I’ll be up again at 3 am so pace yourself accordingly.”

Tobio didn’t heed him. Oikawa sighed.

“I should trade you in. I’ll get Takeru a better cat, he’ll be grateful. Do not wake me up, or I’ll sell you to the kibble company and you’ll be in it instead of eating it.”

He slept, then returned to work for his Black Friday shift. Then he worked Saturday and Sunday, and that took care of his break.

 

The following Tuesday he took a shift for a sick coworker, which ended up ranking among the best work days of his life.

“Hi, are you finding every—Iwa-chan.”

His mild smile was replaced by a vicious scowl. “What—did you just call me?”

“I’m sorry, this is what happens when I have only a cat for company.” He looked at the few items in Iwaizumi’s hand. “Are you finding everything?”

“Yeah. I was hoping to run into you, since this is pretty much where you live now. You’ve been busy, huh.”

“Absolutely.”

Iwaizumi had come here for him?

“Good. It’s dangerous for people like you to have free time. But you still better be careful. You look tired.”

“What! Excuse me, in what way? Wh—Where does it show?”

He snorted. “I’m kidding, dumbass. Who am I to say you look anything but good.”

The second successive blow was too much for Oikawa. He felt the ugly blotches of heat spreading high on his cheeks, and he looked away as if to survey the store. Of course he had no idea that the blotches were actually a perfect rose pink which brought out the natural flush of his lips.

The walkie at his hip buzzed to life.

“Can I get a supervisor to lingerie please?”

He pulled it from his belt. “Coming. Don’t leave, Iwaizumi-kun, I’ll meet you over in men’s formal in five minutes. Maybe ten, god only knows.”

“I didn’t come to get in your hair, just to see you in your element once.”

“I’m an exotic species, am I?” he called over his shoulder.

“Exotic, but not endangered.”

He turned with good-natured shock, then waved in dismissal.

Oikawa managed to find him again, at the men’s checkout.

“As if I don’t know this store better than my own apartment, Iwaizumi.”

The teacher rolled his eyes, and said to the attending clerk:

“You weren’t fast enough.”

The young man dropped the change onto the counter as he fumbled for a sincere apology.

“I was totally kidding you know,” said Iwaizumi. “I appreciate you, you do good work. Thanks a lot.”

Then the worker was flustered in a different way, and Iwaizumi had to watch his color change and a painful smile creep at his lips. Oikawa laughed at them.

“Clearly working with children has its social consequences. I apologize, Kindaichi-kun, I’ll take him off your hands now. This way.”

He waved Iwaizumi on with him. As they moved toward the end of the store, Oikawa gave his sales pitch.

“It’s only too obvious that you’re a bonded-to-the-basics person. Not that that’s bad, simplicity is so much more powerful in formal wear than people understand. But simplicity as a pattern is plain, boring. So you have to offset it, just once in a while.”

“I didn’t follow a damn word of what you just said.”

“And that’s why I planned for visual aids, Iwa-chan.”

“Stop with the ‘chan,’ you dick.”

“Sorry, sorry. Okay look at this. These dogtooth vests are super rad, super in right now.”

“I hate that,” Iwaizumi said.

“I know, I knew you would. But look at these.” He pulled a thinner style from a different rack. “These are really cool, it’s that same pattern but downplayed in the back with solid black, and it has a sleeker cut, it’s more—urban, a different vibe right?”

He went over to a torso mannequin and started to tug on the vest.

“And now, with an ordinary dress shirt, we put this on—It goes best with the white, I think. I never wear the bright white because the offs and the creams go much better with my skin, you know, but you’re darker and your hair’s legitimately black, so the white white will totally work for you.”

“Mm,” was the half answer.

“Then we roll up the sleeves, just how you like—See? It’s totally professional, almost elegant even. And the taper in this area, perfect for your kind of build. You should really hire me as your stylist, Iwaizumi-kun.” He patted the mannequin. “But these are new arrivals, so I’ll tell you when they go on sale.”

“You put a lot of thought into this,” said the other, not without a glimmer in his dark eyes.

“Well yeah—I mean, no. I always—It’s not like—I—”

Iwaizumi laughed at him, genuinely. It was louder than Oikawa had expected it to be, that is if he ever expected this reaction from the stone-faced stud.

“Nah, you’re just a hell of a con artist right?” said the teacher. “You manipulate your customers emotionally to make the sales.”

“You have no charm to undercut the bluntness, Iwaizumi, you just come off as a brute.”

“My condolences to your wounded pride.” He started to walk away.

“Ha. You may be harsh, but not nearly harsh enough for that.”

“I’ll see you, or not.”

“Bye-bye Iwa-chan.”

He turned back. “If I hear that—fricking nickname one more time I will _not_ be seeing you.”

“Sorry, sorry, it obviously doesn’t fit your Disney-lover kitty-worshiper persona.”

“A low blow just to prove you’re an asshole. You really are exotic.”

“Thank you for shopping with us, have a wonderful evening!”

 

Iwaizumi came home on Friday evening and was greeted in the usual way, with Shoyo at the door and ready to prop her front feet against his leg as she looked up at him.

“Hey, kitty kitty.”

He knelt down to pet her for a minute. Then he shut the door, set his bag down, and went to change into sweatpants. The cat followed him from room to room, so he left the kitchen without any food and took her to the couch to exchange affections. She rolled, and rolled, in his lap, as if she couldn’t get comfortable, and he laughed at her. He bounced his legs, hefting her up, then circled her midsection with his hands, barely able to press his fingertips together.

“Geez Shoyo, you’re getting to be a little chub.” He patted the fat. “I know you gain weight in the winter, but that much? When did that happen, hm?”

The shape was cute though, obscenely so. He bit back a smile.

“You have been lying around more than usual. That’s not good for you, you know. You won’t get old as fast if you stay active. Let’s play some, okay?”

She stretched out long on his lap, and Iwaizumi frowned harder at the thick torso. He reached out to touch it as her body relaxed. It felt—swollen?

“What…”

He rubbed his hand back and forth. Her nipples were hard, raised. He jerked his hand away and bent to look closer.

“Oh—gosh. Oh, shit. Gosh!”

 

Oikawa happened to be home when there was a rapping on his door. His head turned fast, but his thoughts were even faster, and his heart leapt painfully for a moment.

“It’s open.”

Outside, Iwaizumi gave a nasty smile, a short ‘hmpf’, and opened the door. Oikawa was sitting on the couch cross-legged. He got up on his knees and leaned over the end, with a sweet smirk.

“Hi Iwaizumi-kun.”

“Did you let that damn cat in there with her?”

“What? Who’s her?”

“Shoyo! I’m gone for two days I come back and two months later my cat has gained a bunch of random weight, which would be really concerning if I didn’t know that there’s a male cat on the same floor who just happens to belong to my pet sitter. She’s freaking pregnant.”

“Wait wait wait. It’s a girl? Why didn’t you tell me that, I didn’t have a clue, you call it Shoyo for frick’s sake. What the hell, Iwaizumi?”

“What the fucking hell, Oikawa, I told you to keep them separated!”

“Well you could’ve given a reason, I thought you were just being protective of your precious only child.”

“Why wouldn’t you fricking listen to me, I gave you one rule, there’s not a single kid in any of my _elementary_ classes who can’t follow one rule.”

“Iwa-chan, you know it is a pet. It’s not like someone knocked up your sister, I think you’re overreacting.”

His reply was interrupted by a plaintive meowing. The orange cat had appeared at its owner’s feet. He picked her up and held her out, stomach exposed.

“Look at my cat!”

Oikawa snorted. “You sound like my crazy old aunt. And you can’t blame me for what that travel-sized black beast did, he’s not even mine. How is it my fault if he’s not trained?”

Just then the culprit came around from behind the kitchen island. Oikawa saw him and turned on the couch.

“You!” He pointed. “You tricked me, you little ass, I sent you in there to be a companion—Listen to my story Iwa-chan, I was sad and I didn’t know what to do, your cat was crying its head off all day long and I thought she was lonely so I _innocently_ let Tobio in there. I was just supporting a pet friendship—” he turned back to the cat—“When really all you wanted was to hump! You played me, the hand that feeds you, you should be ashamed.”

The black feline returned to his place behind the island.

“Hey! Tobio, you are going to face the consequences whether or not you have to carry them around in your—”

“Hey, shut up. There’s an obvious solution to the problem with your cat. What am I supposed to do with mine?”

Oikawa sighed. “Well I don’t like to get into politics with people who live in close proximity, but what’s your stand on abortion, Iwaizumi?”

“What if she’s too young to have babies, what if it hurts her? She could die, she could get an infection, she could reject the kittens and then they’d die—”

“Pro-life, then.”

“This is why you spay and neuter, the world doesn’t need more kittens who get adopted while they’re little and cute then get dumped into the street when they’re grown up. What if she has like twelve of them? You’re the owner of the father, so you’re taking the responsibility to find good homes for them.”

“Iwa-chan I don’t know what you’re after, but if it’s not a laugh in your face you better leave now.”

“Fuck you.”

He shut the door.

 

As funny as it was that Iwaizumi took the whole incident so seriously, Oikawa still felt irresponsible, and down on his luck now that he had made it onto the hottie teacher’s bad side. So when he passed the door on Sunday evening and happened to hear talking inside, he stopped and knocked. Then he went in.

“I know what it’s like in those situations, I know self-control doesn’t come easy—”

Iwaizumi was on his side on the floor, stroking the lazing cat. He glanced with a hard eye at the intruder, then continued to talk to Shoyo.

“I’m not mad at you, I was never mad. And I definitely don’t blame you. It’s okay.”

Oikawa snorted, and it turned into a chuckle.

“She’s not your daughter.”

“Maybe if she was you’d take it seriously.”

Oikawa walked over and crouched down, reaching for the cat.

“How is she?”

“Probably not much enjoying the face of her betrayer.”

“Iwa-chan—”

“You’re gonna start earning a broken finger every time I hear that from you.”

“You can’t honestly believe I would do that knowing full well—”

Shoyo had turned her attention to the student. Now she rolled over to expose her belly to him for scratching.

“See, she’s not holding a grudge.”

“Well she’s not in much pain yet.”

“All this could’ve been avoided if you’d just informed me that she was a female with a male’s name. What’s with that, you couldn’t think of anything better?”

“Well I always wanted a dog. I wanted a dog named Shoyo like in the Yuzuyukki movie I saw when I was a kid.”

“Oh my gosh, seriously? You are such a—”

“But I loved my job and I committed to it, so I knew I didn’t have time for a dog. Then I was going to get a male cat, but she was a cool color and had personality, you could tell just from seeing her around the rest of the ones in the shelter. So I got her and she’s the best cat ever, she’s little and self-sufficient but she behaves a lot like a dog. If I thought you were interested I would’ve told you to play with her while you watched her. She’s a sucker for strings and balls and feathers, and she never gets annoyed and quits like a regular cat. But you can’t see it now because she’s fat and probably hormonally imbalanced.”

Iwaizumi didn’t know it, because his eyes were on Shoyo, but Oikawa’s had never left his face as he talked. He reached peak shame as he listened to the story of the beloved pet. And he found it easy with Iwaizumi to do something he normally didn’t do at all.

“I really am sorry, you know,” he said. “I just wanted your cat to stop crying and mine to get out of my face for a while. I didn’t mean to be a shitty neighbor.” He smiled. “But I stand by my reaction to your hysterics yesterday. Now we know why you’re not a doctor.”

“Wish I was a vet,” he replied. “I’ll have to go there and get her checked, and ask what to do. I’m scared to leave her alone, I don’t know when she’s supposed to have them, I don’t know if she’ll panic if I’m not here…And obviously I’m not having you watch her. You don’t have time anyway.”

Oikawa didn’t retort. The cat rubbed its head against his palm, while Iwaizumi brushed his fingers down her tail.

“The one good thing about it,” said the teacher, “Is I know now that I’m not ready to have kids.”

“A flawed assumption,” was the reply. “You’re not ready to have teenage kids. But that would be years from now, you’d have lots of time to prepare.”

“What do you think, Shoyo?”

“Pfff. I totally knew you were the kind of person who talks to your animals that way.”

“She listens. It’s therapeutic, there’s studies on it.”

“I want to ask something too, Shoyo. Was Tobio good to you? Because if he wasn’t I will certainly see to a punishment.” He petted her. “Was he a good ride, at least?”

“Get out of my apartment.”

He laughed his way to the door. “I have homework. Thesis, you know.”

“You better dedicate it to my poor cat.”

“She’ll be first on the list.”

He waved a little with his fingers, then shut the door.

 

Oikawa’s sister-in-law was arguably his favorite person to talk to, and it was a shame that this time of year, when he was getting mentally rundown and on the verge of serious cynicism, he did not have many opportunities to do so. But this Sunday, by doing schoolwork through lunch hour, he made sure that he had time for a call in the evening.

“Hey Tooru, how are you dear one?”

“Good good, how are you?”

“Well.”

“What’s new?”

“Absolutely nothing. Teijo likes his job.”

“Excellent.”

“What’s new in Prince Perfection’s dream world?”

He smiled. “Nothing much, the anxiety attacks over this presentation are becoming a biweekly thing.”

“Tooru, don’t think like that, you’re fully prepared and allowed to have all the confidence in the world.”

“Don’t take me so seriously, Misaki-san, or you’ll be having the attacks, for goodness sake. I’m fine. Oh my gosh, there is something new! New to me if not to you. Why didn’t any of you bother to tell me that your cat’s a horny bastard?”

“Define that term?”

“My neighbor has a cat and I was watching it, and I let Tobio in to play and what did he do? He impregnated it!”

“Excuse me?”

“Yes you heard me right! The other one was acting all whiny, apparently it wasn’t lonely as my innocent mind had assumed, it was actually in heat or something, and Tobio marched in there to knock her up! It’s been traumatic, now I feel responsible because the other cat’s really sweet and now there’s this whole awkward thing with my neighbor, and your cat’s total lack of remorse is not helping the situation. I can’t believe I forgot to tell Takeru this.”

“How could you not think to call us right away, Tooru? We’ll have to come over, we owe that neighbor a real apology. What are they planning on doing with the kittens, have you discussed it?”

“Yeah, we’re just gonna find homes for them. I’m guessing you guys won’t be willing to take one, but if you know of anyone, that’d be appreciated. This is my half of the consequences, apparently, since half of my cat’s genes are involved. Why didn’t you ever get the thing fixed? That would probably take care of the urination with vengeance, and maybe even that godawful personality.”

“We never got around to it. While we were in the rental house with no neighbors close by it wasn’t a problem, so we just left him as is.”

“Well, now the burden has fallen to me. Is it okay with you if I take him in? There’s probably a lot of cat owners in this building, and I’d feel a lot better knowing this could never happen again.”

“Of course. And we’ll take him ourselves, there’s no reason for you to try to jam in an appointment at this time of year.”

“No no, it’s perfectly fine, I’m sure there’s somebody at work who knows some other somebody and can get me in at a convenient time.”

“Well, regardless, we’ll cover the cost.”

“Ah ah ah, Misaki, you know I believe fully in surrendering to any and all consequences of my own poor judgement. There is no justice in this world if we aren’t just with ourselves.”

“Save it for your thesis, Tooru. We’re talking about humping animals.”

“Misaki!”

“And furthermore, I want you to know that none of the three of us would be the least bit upset if you were to follow Tobio’s lead—”

“What the hell are you talking about, follow his lead?”

“You know exactly what I’m talking about. We’re 32 years old, it’s about damn time we got a niece or nephew, and we’ve already agreed that we don’t care how it comes about—”

“Misaki oh my gosh!”

“The only thing I’m trying to say is if the mood or the opportunity should strike, we fully support you. In fact, you should do it for us.”

“You two are sick. Sick in the head.”

“Name one reason why now isn’t a good time,” she said. “You’ll have a Master’s and a job by the time it’s born, and a whole half of your life freed up to spend being a parent.”

“That’s a lovely little picture, but you’ve based it on unsound fundamentals, because I am in fact a very—gay—man.”

“Well, I only put it forth as my first choice because it’d be a shame if your brother’s genes should be passed on in place of yours, rather than in addition.”

“Pff.”

“But there are other options of course, like I said we don’t care what method, adoption, In Vitro—”

“Okay okay, no gory details necessary. I can’t argue with blessing the gene pool, so the next time I’m in a situation which requires self-restraint, I won’t practice any at all. As long as that will make you happy.”

“Happier than anyone in the world.”

“I aim to please. So what’s the Eve plan, are you guys going to the country house?”

“Are you?”

“Has it been vacated without my knowledge?”

“Do you have work that day?”

“Not sure yet, but more than likely I’ll have it off, there’s a lot of people who want the holiday wage,” he said.

“And you’re closed Christmas Day?”

“Right.”

“So what are you gonna do, do you have some friends to spend it with?”

“I could make some, if I wanted. But to be honest I could spend it alone and perfectly enjoy the solitude.”

“Don’t you feed me full of that, Tooru. If that’s going to be the case, we’ll skip and have you over. Or you could have us over.”

“You skipped last year, we all know they’d throw a hell worthy fury if you tried it again.”

“Well, as much as I hate using my son as leverage, it’s been pretty effective with them in the past, and if I must I must.”

“That won’t be necessary. I have the work party on the 23rd, and if I’m still craving festivities I’ll find another party, or I’ll bake or something. I don’t have the mental capacity to spare on specifics right now.”

“Of course you don’t. You’re an outstanding student, Tooru-kun, and what happens at this presentation doesn’t matter. You are what you are, and you’re not required to prove it.”

“I was led to believe proving it is the whole point.”

“You’ve been listening to renowned professors with advanced degrees. The only person you should listen to is your sister-in-law.”

“Words to live by.”

 

One Friday Iwaizumi visited one of the city’s tiny thriving bookstores, and against all odds, did so at the same time as his nerdy neighbor. Somehow he spotted Oikawa immediately, sitting at a table next to the wall. He had a coveted little area to himself, and as if to emphasize that, he had shit sprawled all over it. He was obviously engrossed, had not even glanced up when the bell on the door rang as it was opened.

Iwaizumi went up to the second floor, came down with his selection, and purchased it along with one of the famous coffees the place offered. And Oikawa still had not noticed him. He came to within a foot of the table, and there was no reaction.

“We’re not at a bar, but am I still allowed to buy you a drink?”

“Unless it happens to be a caramel double non-fat soy latte, I—” His eyes reached the man’s face. “Iwa-chan.”

Iwaizumi laughed, that whole-hearted laugh that he had only heard once before.

“You didn’t bat an eye until you saw it was me.”

“That is not—It wasn’t—Well, you creeped me the fuck out, sneaking up here in silence and hitting on me with absolutely no warning like we’re in some kind of masochistic office setting, then I look up in terror only to find this repulsively self-involved supremacist is someone I actually know—And by the way that pickup line sucked ass.”

“Well sorry the guy and the coffee aren’t to your taste. Unless I just had bad timing, interrupted something pretty arousing in there.” He nodded at the upheaval on the table. Then he turned away. “Don’t let me spoil the rest of your fun.”

“Just where do you think you’re going, young man? We happen to meet somewhere other than the dingy and depressive basement hallway, happen to overlap on some free time, and you’re not even going to sit down?”

“You’re not on free time,” he scoffed. “And I just came for a new copy of Wong’s works. Shoyo decided it would be good to rip mine up, I think she’s trying to start nesting.”

“She’s so cute, honestly. Wanna trade?”

“As if, that thing made a vile demonstration of its horrible manners _on my cat_ , and I’m not eager to see what else it’s learned from you.”

“Maybe you could put us both back in line. I’m sure there’s a book in here to help you.”

“That’s no task for an average brain.”

He turned away again, but they made eye contact, and for a moment held the smile.

From somewhere Oikawa pulled the motivation to barrel through the last of his work. Then he hurried home, and made a stop before his own apartment. He knocked.

“Coming.”

The door opened and he put on his cheesiest winningest smile, as he held up a dvd case.

“You rejected me once,” he said, “But I will have a date tonight, if it’s the last thing I do.”

“Good grief.” He grabbed the dvd. “This came out like the year I was born.”

Tooru snatched it back as he slid his way inside, then did a hop skip and jump over to the TV.

“What the hell’s with you?”

“I never have coffee this late, it’s your fault.”

He was honestly surprised that the teacher made no excuse and no hesitation before joining him. Oikawa had the couch to himself and Iwaizumi had the chair. He didn’t know if it was the coffee, but he found he could talk easily, and not hold back by making a laugh shy, or muting any of the other signs that he was enjoying the movie. Iwaizumi never laughed, but not because he seemed averse to it. He mostly graded papers; this led to their talking about his classes, behavioral issues, test scores, until somehow he had gotten Iwaizumi to admit:

“Part of it really sucks. You see these kids every day for months, and you start loving the hell out of them, and it’s so fucking sad because you know half of them don’t have good home situations. Some of them their parents never check their backpack, they don’t get any help with their subtraction, they’ve got ripped sweatpants that they have to wear three days in a row because they don’t have anything else, and gosh—damn, you wanna save them all. You know they’re not appreciated at home, for how funny they are, how smart they are, how creative, how kind-hearted. And I’m pretty lucky, because I only have them when they’re young. But at some point that stuff leaves them, when they start giving up, and stop believing in the worth of all that, you know?”

Oikawa stared at him.

“Thanks for that, Iwa-chan, I’m gonna sleep really well tonight.”

“Sorry.” He got up. “That’s the only thing I can’t really talk about with Shoyo. Humanity, I can’t fool myself into believing she understands.”

“You know, at my office it’s kind of fun to bitch with coworkers. You guys don’t have that luxury, I guess.”

“Not exactly.”

Oikawa had turned and turned to keep him in sight. Now as Iwaizumi got water from the faucet, he rested his elbow on the back of the couch and put his head against his fist. Iwaizumi eyed him for a moment, but grew uncomfortable with the serious stare.

“It’s really important—for them to have you,” said the student. “You’re really important.”

Iwaizumi smirked before he turned his back.

“Who the hell are you, what kind of person says that with a straight face?”

“Well it’s true!”

“Go home and get your eight hours, like a good student.”

He sighed. “If Iwaizumi-sensei says so.”

“And never do that kid voice again.”

He stuck out his tongue as he went strolling through the door.

 

It was Tuesday in the week of Oikawa’s presentation; his evening started with yet another practice read, and ended in his bawling and sobbing over every little imperfection in his life. He had found, instead of the old notes he dug for while trying to keep back tears of frustration, that godforsaken book by Dr. Seuss. It was open in his lap, and he quoted it without looking at the pages.

“Except when you don’t, because sometimes—you won’t…”

His cat had come in to investigate at the first noise of sobs stifled into his arm. Tobio sat near the door and watched, just watched him.

“Shit, Tobio, what the hell—am I gonna do…I can’t do this.”

“Urgh!”

He chucked a notebook across the room. The cat, instead of flinching away, came and lay down between his feet.

“I can’t do this…I can’t fix everything, Tobio, I can’t even fix my own life! I haven’t changed at all, I never change, I still do the same stupid shit and believe every time that it will work when it never has and never will. So what the fuck am I supposed to do? And no one’s gonna bother to tell me, give me something, they think I just know all this by myself, because that’s what I want them to think because I don’t want them to think I’m stupid…But I’m so—fucking—stupid.

“And so fucking proud. I’m never gonna learn, how could I? Why did I get myself into this, there’s no point in coming this far, I never wanted to give a stupid fucking presentation and fucking humiliate myself in front of my brother, who’s kind enough to let me fool him…

“And it’s not fair, look at you! Your tiny cat feet are perfect, your hair’s soft without conditioner, I could never win Iwaizumi, I can’t even compete with his cat! You guys are cute and don’t need someone validating it every ten seconds, dammit...

“I should’ve stayed nine years old. I should’ve stayed in his third grade math class, I should’ve stayed the apple of my family’s eye, and you would’ve liked me when I was nine, you would’ve liked being my pet,” he cried. “Right?”

The tears poured for as long as the words. Then he pulled his knees to his chest and began to wipe the wetness making his chin itch.

“He lied,” Oikawa said. “It’s not therapeutic talking to you, I feel like I have to actually make sense.”

He deep sighed.

“Now, do not repeat any of that, it’d be a real devil’s move to hold over me things I said during breakdown.”

The cat lay on its side and stared. Tooru sniffled.

“Well fuck this. Let’s find something to eat.”

 

Thursday of the same week was Tobio’s “reckoning,” as his owner called it. Oikawa was walking the five blocks to the vet, with the cat in the cage borrowed from his neighbor. There was no wind to compound the winter chill, so he was rather enjoying the trip, except for a steady superficial gnawing somewhere in his stomach. He couldn’t resist the temptation to look through the cage at the staring cat. He quickly lowered the carrier, but said:

“This should really be the other way around…I mean, you’ve been putting yours to use.”

He looked again at the whiskered face, and swore he was seeing something different there, and not because he was crazy. It might have something to do with their bonding moment yesterday; Tobio hadn’t exactly been comforting, but having a companion during collapse was new to the student.

He swung around and started in the opposite direction.

When he got back to his building, he set Tobio down in the hall and knocked on the teacher’s door.

“Iwaizumi, are you in there?”

“Gimme a second.”

He opened the door. Oikawa just barely restrained a squeak at the sight of a loosened tie and top button undone. He swallowed down the high pitch.

“I was going to take Tobio’s manhood to the chopping block today, but then I changed my mind, do you know why? Because I thought to myself ‘well why should I submit without even attempting to call out that bastard Iwaizumi’s hypocritical sermon about spaying and neutering?’ It takes two to tango, Iwa-chan, so obviously Shoyo wasn’t any more protected than mine. Why should I be the one to suffer the financial and psychological repercussions of this operation?”

“Believe me, you won’t be the only one. I’ll take her in as soon as she’s up to it.” He looked down and gave her a heavy stroke over the back. “We never want to go through this again, do we.”

“You fed me that whole bit on population control when all the while your kitten carrier’s sitting at home perfectly fertile!”

“Hey, they told me she was fixed! The shelter told me she was up on shots and spayed and everything—”

“Well I think they got that one wrong.”

“Apparently it sometimes happens that they think one has already been fixed when they rescue it, so they never put it down for one and it doesn’t get done. I read about it. They must’ve thought Shoyo already was.”

“Then they should be the ones finding homes for these things, their negligence is the reason they’re coming into this world at all.”

“Look,” said Iwaizumi, “When I took her in I took on responsibility and liability for her, and you did the same when you took in your nephew’s.”

“Hey, that was an involuntary—”

“I already found homes for them anyway. There’s six babies, I’ve found five kids at school and cleared it with their parents, and just in case one of them doesn’t survive, I’m not going to tell the sixth family until afterwards.”

“Oh. I thought finding the homes was supposed to be my job.”

“Well pets aren’t exactly a priority with you. And it was convenient for me, I see over a hundred kids a day. They’ll be Christmas presents, so whenever they’re born I’m going to take pictures, and send the pictures as the gifts since the kittens won’t be weaned until later.”

“Aww, that’s really cute.” Then he smirked. “You’re such a teacher.”

Iwaizumi didn’t saw a word.

“Are you counting down the days til your vacation?” Oikawa said, in a hurry to keep him talking.

“I have my moments.”

The student laughed before he could stop himself, then again before he could stop himself turned in embarrassment and scratched at the back of his neck.

“Bet you’re waiting for it to be over,” said Iwaizumi. “All the insanity at the store.”

“Business is as busy is.”

“All that shit to deal with and you’re having the time of your life?”

“Practically,” he smiled.

“Freak.”

“Ah! What?”

“Never mind, I should’ve guessed that anyway. Holidays weren’t a time to relax, the way you grew up, am I right?”

“No, when you’re wealthy it’s all a show, and shows are exhausting.”

Iwaizumi was nodding.

“Are you expecting to be on the nice list, Iwa-chan?”

“I was expecting it until I moved here and started getting drug through the mud by you.”

“I’m known for that,” he said. “But you made your choice. You should’ve taken one look at me and put a second deadbolt on your door. Instead you gave me a key.”

“Once again I have to accept my liabilities.”

He chuckled twice. “Don’t worry, we have fun on the naughty list too. And we don’t have to wait around all year.”

He gave a ridiculously smooth wink. But it was downplayed in the next moment, when he glanced at his phone and took on a look of genuine fright.

“Shit, I gotta go to work.” He backed out the door. “This is not the kind of naughtiness I’m accustomed to, Iwaizumi, you’re ruining my rep!”

The teacher called a ‘bye’ through the closed door, but it went unanswered.

His brain may have been second rate, but it was perfectly functional. In spite of anything Oikawa said, he was a human and must be under stress at this time of year. Stress was a natural isolator, and from what he could see his neighbor didn’t need help in that department. But the guy was king of avoidance without even trying, what could he do about it?

An hour and a half later Iwaizumi walked up to the familiar employee at the men’s cash register.

“Hi,” the kid said.

“Hi. I don’t know if you remember me—”

Kindaichi nodded, in what could only be described as an eager way.

“So uh, I have a favor to ask you, if that’s okay? I know it’s not your job, but I’d really appreciate it.”

“Sure, no problem, what can I do for you?”

“Uh—Is Oikawa working tonight?”

“Yep, he’s here.”

“Okay, well, this is for him, do you know if he’s already taken his lunch break?”

“Uh, I’m not sure, lemme ask.” He picked up a walkie. “Oikawa-san?”

“Yes?”

“When will you be taking your lunch?”

“I’m scheduled at 6.”

“Okay thank you.” He set down the walkie and turned back to Iwaizumi. “So, probably…6:45. Or around there.”

“All right, then can you put this in the back, probably in the fridge?”

“Yeah.”

“And then just leave a note on his desk or something, let him know it’s there.”

“Okay, sure.”

Iwaizumi slid the container toward him.

“Sorry, again. Feel free to gossip about your really weird customer requests.”

“Nah, you’re all good. This one doesn’t even rank.”

“Oh, I see, I’m not good enough for you? Then again you do work for that flippy-haired freak of nature.”

Kindaichi was building up the courage to chuckle, but then a female supervisor walked over, looking from one to the other.

“What’s up over here?”

“Uhhh it’s just uh—Iwaizumi-sensei brought food for Oikawa-san. He asked if we could put it on his desk, so I was just gonna go drop it off really quick.”

“Oh, that’s so nice!” She smiled at Iwaizumi. “Super nice, oh my gosh, I need a you.”

Then suddenly Kindaichi was looking at him in a different way, a way which matched her sentiment but lacked the smile, and the teacher knew he had made a mistake. Before he could run through a few weak attempts at clearing himself, the supervisor spoke again.

“You’re probably combatting a senior fast or something. I don’t think he eats when he goes back to his office, he just works on his school stuff. I can take it back with me, I’m heading there.”

“Thanks.”

“Thanks,” said Iwaizumi, starting to leave. “Thanks a lot, Kindaichi, sorry to bother you guys.”

“Oh no it’s no problem. I’m sure he’ll be pleasantly surprised,” she said.

 

Iwaizumi realized at 9 that he had forgotten some papers in his car. But he didn’t go out to get them until 10, because yes he was a sucker and wanted to see if he could time another run-in with the student. And sure enough, there he came walking. Iwaizumi pretended he hadn’t seen him and went through the first door. Oikawa came into the entrance just as he was unlocking the second.

“Hi Iwaizumi.” His smile was big, his tone pure in its pleasure.

“Evening.” He did a double take. “Where the hell’s your coat?”

“I gave it away,” he cheered. “There was this kid that got on the bus, seriously a kid Iwa-chan, no older than us. He had a hoodie and a scarf, and he was shaking so badly in his seat, I could see it ten rows back. I’m thinking it probably wasn’t just from cold, either.” His voice eased, softened a little. “Might have been some withdrawal symptoms, you know? When I went by I just set it in the seat next to him, along with my life, but unfortunately he gave the second thing back.”

“You’re trying to tell me you’re not a self-centered asshole?”

Iwaizumi opened the door and they went down the stairs.

“No I am. I can afford to give a coat away, so I make sure people know that.” Oikawa continued from his neighbor’s stopping point. “Besides, I’m not the only one who was practicing random acts of kindness today, am I Iwa-chan.”

“I knew I should’ve sworn that Kindaichi to secrecy.”

“Don’t blame the boy, it was your own lapse in judgement. The fact of it is, there’s no one who would bring me dinner but you. It was really good alfredo, by the way, who’d you order?”

“I made it, dumbass, did you not see the Tupperware?”

“What?” he yelped, almost shouted. “You can cook?”

“No, not really. Just certain things that my mom has recipes for and worked really hard to teach me.” 

“Iwa-chan I’ve been over at the other end of this hall starving! Living on instant ramen and canned chicken. Good to know who the real asshole is here.”

He somehow managed a graceful stomp to his apartment. After walking through the doorway he leaned back into view to chuck the empty container at his neighbor. Then he shut it soundly.


	2. Part 2

On Saturday morning, the particular Saturday marking the date of Oikawa’s thesis presentation, Iwaizumi was humming and banging around his kitchen, until even above his own noise he heard a faint voice, emotional in tone. He waited, and heard it again, a word he thought he could make out.

“Tobio!”

He opened his door and was attacked by the clear string of obscenities coming from the end of the hall.

“I swear to those demonic depths you once called home, if you ate my flash drive you will not be facing the prospect of a foot in the ass, or a lasting removal of your sex drive, but the be-all-end-all—euthanasia! I—am—serious.”

Just as he was passing the door next to Oikawa’s, it opened, and the middle-aged woman in her pajamas made eye contact with Iwaizumi. Seeing the direction he was headed, she closed her door.

“If I find out you were the one responsible, so help me Tobio I will force any and everything down your throat until you puke the damn thing back up. Have you ever had your stomach pumped by an untrained layman? Do you want to?”

Iwaizumi opened the door. The student was standing in front of the couch with his hands on the back, straining over it as he spoke down the hall. He wore slacks with a brown plaid design, and a button-up shirt of yellowish cream color. The shirt was tucked in smartly, so precisely that only his own hand could have done it. He had glasses on.

Only after he had observed all this did Iwaizumi notice that he was being stared at, with surprise and also guilt.

“You’re hours away from defending a thesis and you’re throwing a twelve year old’s fit,” said the neighbor.

He turned with a bold jerk. “Ever heard of a thing called stress?”

Iwaizumi was not sorry, but he lost his disapproving tone and spoke with perfect evenness.

“They’ll have copies of it there for you. Right? Plus you’ve got it on your computer.”

“Yes. They—will have, I’m sure. You’re right.”

“I’m coming, just so you know.”

Oikawa dropped his phone.

“What? No you’re not.”

“I am, no thanks to you for the time and place.”

“Iwaizumi you are not coming. That’s the last thing I need, to be worried about impressing you while I’m having enough trouble trying to maintain the last shreds of my self-worth in front of that crab-ass, overpaid, narrow-minded board. They’re professionals in the field and I’m gonna have a hell of a time securing their attention, do not put it on me to tailor to you who brings no interest whatsoever to the subject.”

“I’m coming, you dick. I want to come.”

“Fine! Fine then. But you do not have a friendly invitation and I’m making no promises for your entertainment.”

“Not out loud, but I’m sure you’re already formulating a tweaking process.”

“You’re really going to choose today to fuck with me? I thought it’d be the bus driver, or the clerk at the coffee shop, but it might as well be my neighbor, that works perfectly f—My flash drive!” He pointed to the book-covered counter beside Iwaizumi. “Throw me that. Please.”

The man tossed it over, then turned to go.

“Apologize to your cat, Shitty-kawa,” he said, before shutting the door.

Oikawa made his exit fifteen minutes later.

“Wish me luck, Iwa-chan,” he called as he passed the apartment.

“Good luck.”

 

Iwaizumi arrived during the last intermission, after which Tooru was scheduled to close the event. Most everyone was standing and mingling. He looked to the front riser off to the left, and saw Oikawa sitting there with the three other students. Then as he scanned around for a chair, his eye was caught by handsomeness and familiarity. The man was standing at the front row talking to a woman with long dark hair. They were not identical, but there was enough resemblance in the quality of his looks and airs to confirm that he was related to Oikawa.

The teacher took a seat several rows back from the handsome man, then looked once again to the riser. His neighbor was occupying himself in conversation with his counterparts; his smile was genuine, and he talked with animated movement, but it didn’t take long for Iwaizumi to notice a nervous tick. He kept running his hand through the side of his hair, above his ear. It was comical, and the longer he watched, sexy. He abruptly pulled his attention from it.

Oikawa now wore the brown jacket to match his pants. There was no one else he knew of that could rock formal plaid and not look like a tool. He had made a careful selection from his several pairs of glasses, and it seemed, from here anyway, that his hair had been floofed more evenly than usual. He was certainly in his prime now, Iwaizumi thought. In middle school he had probably been gushed over, in high school fanboyed after, but today he was 25, past the stage of any acne, still maintaining, now with more difficulty, the leaned and toned form first developed by some sport or another. And he was sharp as a samurai sword.

He started out his presentation with humor, which was something Iwaizumi imagined they had all been instructed to stay clear away from in a thesis. But Oikawa dove straight into it, and by the first minute mark had elicited a few roars, and the lighter laughter of most of the thirty-five or forty audience members. He ran seamlessly from point to point, and spoke with such a combination of surety and energy that at the conclusion no one would have felt a need to question him, except that the professors were expected to do so. And they were apparently plenty prepared; hearing the first question, which was a direct attack on a certain supporting point in Tooru’s argument, Iwaizumi wondered how he had not been twice as stressed these last few weeks than what had shown itself. A moment later his thought was responded to, by Oikawa’s utter composure as he gave his soundly delivered answer. Iwaizumi wanted to clap, but supposed that wasn’t appropriate after each of the parries the student was going to make.

Two of the four professors were the more active. One always asked with an optimistic air, tossing the question out and awaiting a good answer. He wanted to challenge the student because he knew Oikawa could rise to it, and that watching him do so would be fun. But the other asked with nothing but the obvious intent of trapping Tooru in a mistake. Each time he ventured to speak, Iwaizumi was muttering in his head for the student to come back, and make it quick. The organizer finally killed the tension in him by calling for the last question. The cynic moved his hand fastest, faster than at any time before. And he asked his question with so much obvious condescension and finality that he immediately made an enemy of all the strangers in the room. And Iwaizumi screamed a single thought over and over:

“Kill him, kill him, kill him Tooru.”

“You just opened up the fields of philosophy and economics with points reaching back three thousand years!” Oikawa chided him. “But I’ll give my required answer shortly as possible, as after fifteen months in company with these ideas even thirty more seconds will feel like a year of burning hell to me.”

Laughter.

“So in answer, I won’t assert that humans are good or bad in nature. But I believe, rather I believe I know, that no matter how bad, or how far gone, we still _wish_ that we were good. If we don’t succeed, we wish we had. If we aren’t accepted by society, we wish that we could be. Even if we become so self-contained and resentful as to be motivated to heinous acts against humanity, there’s still some part of us somewhere that wishes we could be good, be a success, be accepted, in spite of the fact well-known to us that we can’t. So considering that, our own undying wish for good, then the phenomenon of one person outside of yourself wishing, and believing, in your success, is a thing—I a guess a thing with too much power to be named by words.” He inclined his head. “Thank you.”

Iwaizumi jumped out of his seat ahead of the standing ovation, joining the din with claps and whistles. The graduate’s brother turned and happened to locate the whistler; he looked at his wife, who had seen the same thing, a robust young man making a rousing effort to applaud.

“Maybe we didn’t need to come,” he said to her.

Oikawa joined them immediately after the dismissal.

“Very _very_ good job, Tooru.”

“I’m proud as hell, Brother.”

His thank you was a rushed murmur, as his head swiveled in all directions. He spotted a certain broad back moving away.

“Iwaizumi!”

His head turned.

“Get over here and congratulate me.”

But he was grinning, not sporting the regular smirk. Iwaizumi waited for the stream of people to pass in front of him, then slipped through to their group.

“This is my neighbor, Iwaizumi Hajime.”

He put out his hand to the woman first.

“He’s an elementary teacher. This is my sister-in-law Misaki, and my brother Teijo, a nurse and a civil engineer, respectively.”

Now Iwaizumi turned for a third handshake, from Tooru.

“You killed them. To be honest. Knocked it out of the park.”

He took his hand, grinning now. “As expected?”

Iwaizumi nodded with half a smile.

“Really was outstanding, Tooru,” said his brother. “And don’t even try to argue because we’re taking you out now. Heaven only knows this is the first and last Saturday you’ll have off for a year.”

“Please join us, Iwaizumi-kun,” said Misaki, “The more the merrier around the holidays.”

“Yes Iwaizumi, you’re coming, you’re not allowed to bum around at home when I’m not there too.”

“Well Shoyo’s been alone for a couple hours, so I have to—”

“Go back and check on her, then meet us there. Where are we going?” he said to his brother.

“Wherever you want.”

“I don’t care, what do you want? What do you want, Iwaizumi?”

“You’re the one who bitches about starving.”

“Well fine fine, I’ll pick…Karagiyo’s?”

“Sounds good,” said Misaki.

“Okay meet us there Iwa-chan, swear you’re going to show up.”

“Yeah yeah, I’ll see you there.”

“Tell Shoyo hi, I know she misses me!”

“Yeah.”

He left, and Oikawa turned back to his brother, who said:

“Shoyo is?”

“His cat. The very same who was impregnated by your own soul-eater.”

“That’s the guy you’re having babies with?”

“Yes, if you have to be perverted about it. I expected this all along, but Iwaizumi’s a teacher, he’s not cut out for your filthy way of talking so just tone it down.”

Teijo laughed.

“I didn’t see a ring,” said Misaki.

The brother laughed again, as Oikawa gave her a disbelieving glare.

“You’re going to be the one to start this, Misaki-san? That’s an unpleasant surprise.”

“You weren’t going to tell us you have a beefcake for a neighbor, Tooru?” Teijo said.

“And here we go.” He tossed up his hands and passed by them to move toward the exit.

 

Tooru told the cab driver they were in no hurry, but nevertheless their wait in the lobby lasted ten minutes before they were already being informed of an open table. He tried to insist they wait, tried to insist that the fourth party member wouldn’t be able to find them right away, and that they would have to place their drink orders before he got there, but his family convinced him to come sit down, with sarcastic undertones accompanying their soothing.

They hadn’t been talking for even five minutes when Iwaizumi arrived at the entrance to their dining section behind an employee, who pointed out the table. Iwaizumi nodded and Oikawa could read the thank you on his lips. Then he came toward them, and two pairs of eyes didn’t bother to drop their anticipation.

“He’s so very respectable,” said Misaki.

“I know right, you’d never think of all his neighbors he’d favor my companionship.”

“I was actually going to say he’s like you in every way, where it comes to that.”

Iwaizumi reached their table and pulled out the last empty chair, between Teijo and Tooru.

“I assume she’s doing fine?” the graduate said.

“Not happy with my running in and out, but otherwise.”

“Good, now you can give that frown line its annual night off and let loose. Do you drink wine?”

“Am I at the Last Supper?”

The Oikawas laughed, even the insulted one.

“Well one of us will have to drive back,” said Misaki, “And I don’t know how Iwaizumi-kun got here.”

“We really shouldn’t be coming home blasted in front of our kid,” said her husband, “So I think we’re both out.”

“I like these two,” Iwaizumi said to Tooru, who smiled his condescension.

“I drove,” the teacher added.

“Tell you what, Tooru, we’ll pick up the tab and let you drink to your heart’s content,” said Teijo.

“Sounds good to me,” said Iwaizumi.

“Of course it does! As if I’m letting the three of you gang up on poor giddy and stumbling Tooru.”

“He doesn’t know how to be drunk anymore, he’s been in school so long,” said Teijo.

“I do not deny that.”

Misaki cut in.

“Before these two get too far gone, we have an apology to give to you, Iwaizumi. Tooru told us about your cat. Tobio was originally ours, and while Tooru acknowledges that it was irresponsible of him to let the cat out, it was irresponsible of us not to have him fixed. We’re very sorry that all of it happened.”

“We are,” Teijo said.

“It’s fine. Really,” he said. “She’s doing well, and we’ve made arrangements for all the mini Tobies. Everything’s fine.”

Tooru scoffed. “That’s not the earful I’ve been getting. He must genuinely like you.”

“Well don’t speak too soon,” said Teijo. “We’ll cover any cost, any complication, anything you need, it’s on us.”

“That’s not necessary,” was Iwaizumi’s reply. “I’m just as much at fault, and I’ve overreacted to the whole thing, it’s really not a big deal.” His cheek curled at Tooru. “It’s not like you knocked up my sister.”

“Oh believe me,” he cried, “Nothing would make them happier than if I had! You tell him what you told me on the phone, Misaki, tell him.”

“I would, but I’m afraid he’d agree with me.”

“They want a niece no matter what the cost. I could sleep with my boss for all they care. She had a prepared list of reasons why now is a good time for me. Can you believe that?”

“We have multiple lists,” said Teijo. “Your nephew helped.”

“Do you still approve of them as parents?” he said to the teacher.

“I do. They deserve to be aunt and uncles.”

“Oh shut up. You will be anyway,” he said to the couple, “My cat’s having babies which makes me a father and you the relations, there you go.”

“Kids aren’t a part of your world domination agenda?” said Iwaizumi.

“That’s the thing, he loves them,” said Misaki. “He’s doted on his nephew since the day he was born, absolutely doted on him. I don’t think we’ve bought the kid even a fourth of his clothes over the years.”

“Kind of shitty to taunt me about my profession, then,” he said to Tooru.

“I’m sure that’s a defense mechanism,” said the brother. “Just pettiness.”

“I’ll let you all debate the specifics of that while I use the restroom,” said Tooru. “I may not come back, just so you know. It’s not like you’d notice if I didn’t.”

He left.

“Tell us more about your job, Iwaizumi,” said Teijo.

“I teach math, 3rd through 5th grade, at Kitagawa Daiichi.”

“Is that a desired profession or a way to make a living?”

“It’s everything I could ask for.”

“Glad to hear it.”

“I really can’t believe Tooru hasn’t mentioned you before,” said Misaki.

“He really must’ve been overloaded with prepping for this thesis. Because he definitely would’ve railed about you.”

“Well you gave him a cat,” said Iwaizumi. “He probably doesn’t need an ear from you anymore.”

Teijo laughed. Then Misaki bent over and pulled her vibrating phone out of her coat pocket.

“Uh oh, it’s Takeru.”

“No cat to keep him company anymore, I’m sure he’s trying to chase away the lonely.”

“I’m sorry Iwaizumi, I don’t mean to be rude, but the son’s call is one that must be answered.”

“I don’t disagree.”

She left the table. Iwaizumi wasn’t worried; neither of the two had struck him as someone he couldn’t make casual conversation with. However, it turned out they weren’t incapable of surprising him.

“So then,” said Teijo. “Are you guys banging?”

His jaw practically fell off his face.

“No!”

“Sorry.” He did look apologetic, through the small smile. “Had to check, it is the kind of thing he would do.”

“It’s not the kind of thing I do.” Iwaizumi’s tone was dead serious.

“No no no, please don’t misunderstand. It’s not that he’s a playboy, or even just an asshole, I didn’t mean he sleeps around all the time. But without going into too much detail I’ll tell you he’s had trouble with committed relationships. And it’s not that he’s a thrill of the kill kind of person. Really, he’s not.”

“Well if he was that I think I would’ve found out by now.”

“Exactly. Tooru’s—he doesn’t like to talk about this stuff seriously. We know some of his habits aren’t good for him and we tell him that, but he’s not one to think of his future well-being, you know? He’s really an in the moment kind of person. Like, it’s not that he isn’t going to feel the hurt and feel like he used himself or whatever, he knows perfectly well that’s how it’s going to feel. But I guess he tends to choose the short term pleasure and face whatever shit comes later. I don’t really know what it is, but my wife thinks that maybe he just—How’d she say that…He maybe doesn’t believe he’s gonna find someone who’ll make him really want to commit, someone who’ll make him really value it.”

“Are you telling me all this so I won’t start sleeping with him?”

“I’m not gonna try to stop you if that’s what you both want. But regardless of the kind of person you are, I still wish he wouldn’t do that to himself.”

Iwaizumi had no answer.

“I know I’m biased,” said the brother. “He’s different than me, but there’s no reason he shouldn’t have everything I have, there’s no reason regardless of anything he is or does.”

“No reason except that maybe he doesn’t want what you have.”

Teijo looked at him for a long moment. “Yeah.”

Tooru was back.

“What’s this? An unexpected tete-a-tete? Or, completely expected?” He wagged a brow as he sat down.

“Just planning out the details of what will be a thrilling and breathless affair,” said Teijo. “Congratulations, your introduction will be the catalyst of it all.”

“My pleasure. I know Iwaizumi will fill his role with sultry splendor.”

“You’re a couple of helplessly sick bastards, you know that?” said the teacher.

They laughed shamelessly. Then Misaki was back.

“I’m sorry Iwaizumi, I never intended to leave you alone with the two of them at once.”

“Yeah, unfortunately I can see why.”

Oikawa chuckled nastily again, while Teijo turned to his wife.

“Is he setting the kitchen on fire, or what?”

“He’s considering it. He let the rice get too big, and burned some of it to the pot, he wanted to know if there’s any way to salvage it.”

Teijo turned to Iwaizumi. “She’s a total package parent. She’s got the cooking skills, the math expertise, and I’ve got nothing to offer the kid.”

“Nothing but bad examples,” said his wife.

Iwaizumi laughed. “And even there you can’t get ahead, with the corrupt uncle keeping the cat as leverage.” He jerked his head at Oikawa, who was laughing the hardest of the three.

“All the time and effort into maintaining our relationship and this is your opinion of me?”

The conversation didn’t slow with the arrival of drinks, then food. Iwaizumi learned that Tooru had been working at the department store since he was 17, and had been supervisor for three years now. He had taken his time in school, spending the first three semesters attending a jumble of varying classes, waiting patiently for something to strike his fancy.

Oikawa was also seizing the opportunity to learn; Iwaizumi’s left hand was often on the table, and Tooru finally got a read on the tattooed letters. VERY took up the top segment of his fingers, one letter for each of the four. MUCH was written through the lower segments, below the joints. ALIVE gave a letter to each of his knuckles and to the thumb joint, so that the E lined up with the rest. And on his right wrist the ink bracelet he had always thought was made up of plain pointy triangles turned out to be a series of tiny repeating lightning bolts, spaced closely to give the illusion of connectivity.

 

The parting of ways signaled the end of one of those nights people never want to have an end. But there was an epilogue, as Iwaizumi put forth the obvious offer of a ride back to the apartment. They were quiet for only the first minute of the drive.

“Alright Iwaizumi. What do you think of them?”

“Well, Misaki-san’s my new patron saint.”

His lip curled and he nodded. “As she is to many.”

“Your brother’s smart as hell, no surprise there. A little less high strung than you.”

“There are reasons for that, the first being apparent when you’ve looked at his current position in life as compared to mine.”

“Why’s that, you got nothing to worry about after today. You’re all set.”

“I guess so, but it hasn’t sunk in yet.”

Pause.

“Did he ask you if we were banging?”

Iwaizumi shot a look. “Yes, and he worded it that exact same way.”

Oikawa laughed.

“You knew he would? Were you all in the on the setup?”

“No, no no. I just assumed, given that he’s my brother and that anyone who sees us together thinks it, I’m sure. Good thing I haven’t visited your professional establishment, hm?”

Quiet.

“What did you say to him?”

“What? I said no, what the fuck did you expect me to say?”

He laughed. “Well I don’t know, Iwa-chan, I tried putting myself in your shoes. If you’re a young, single, stably employed man, maybe you’re okay with people thinking that instead of grading tests you get a hot piece of ass when you come home.”

“Maybe if there was a hot piece of ass available.”

His face was priceless, and nothing could stop Iwaizumi from grinning.

“Okay,” Tooru said, “If my day had been any worse than it was, that would warrant my demanding you stop this car and let me out.”

They were smitten to themselves for a moment. Oikawa reached and turned up the Christmas song on the radio. Then Iwaizumi began again, but in cool seriousness.

“It’s funny that you’d say piece of ass, and all the other shit you say, when you know you’re not, and you know you’re too proud to let yourself become that.”

“Oh dear, they really did a number on you didn’t they.”

“Is it a crime for them to care? Do you not want to be burdened with it, Your Majesty?”

He laughed. “They got you good. What did Teijo say about me, hm? What was it exactly?”

“I won’t waste it on you.”

“Come on, what’d he say? I’ve heard it all before, so you won’t be burdening me with anything new.”

Iwaizumi glanced. “He said you’re willing to put yourself through a lot of shit because you don’t believe you’ll find someone worth being steady with.”

“Oh good grief, now they have a whole theory worked up? No, I guess I should’ve seen that coming, the older I get the more apparent it becomes that my life’s not headed in the direction they think it should be.”

Then he turned and looked out the window. It was only for a moment, but Iwaizumi felt a sudden awkwardness.

“Well, I could play along with that…This is good, Iwa-chan, you’re so seemingly trustworthy that they’ve already let you inside their twisted minds. Did he say I was a fuckboy, or something like that?”

“I already know you aren’t that, when have you ever come home with anything but bags under your eyes?”

“I do not _ever_ have bags under my eyes. If I did they’d be from being cooped up with that damn cat. And right back at you with the bringing people home, how can the sweater vested feline owner criticize me?”

“You can tell I don’t believe in that stuff. But if you don’t either, I’d never be able to guess what you do believe in.”

“What do you believe?” he challenged.

“That it’s a fucking waste. To take that and nothing else is pure stupidity. There’s so much more to people, and not only are you missing out, but you’re reinforcing in that person the idea of defining their worth by that narrow-ass aspect of relationships, and you can die alone for all I care.”

“Ho ho hooo,” Oikawa laughed. “I knew it! I knew this ever since I first met you, and all the signs have just continued to confirm it, you are an absolute romantic! Admit it, Iwa-chan. You love all the shitty Christmas rom coms just as much as the painstakingly written classics. You read Jane Austen, don’t tell me you don’t.”

“You don’t have to accuse me to get me to admit to that, no fucking shit I love Jane Austen.”

“Favorite?”

“Emma, has to be Emma first, then P and P.”

“That tattoo on the inside of your left arm, it says ‘Adventure’s out there,’ doesn’t it.”

“Yep.”

“You cry over that movie, you totally do. At multiple points.”

“Yep.”

“My gosh, your kids must think you are so damn weird. And you wonder why none of the neighbors talk to you.”

“Yeah you’re the only one, so you know that means you’re just as bad. I went to school with a bunch of nerds, now I work with a bunch of nerds, and you’re still the biggest fucking nerd I’ve ever met.”

Oikawa choked on an embarrassingly obnoxious laugh. But he wasn’t embarrassed.

“I will bet every single paycheck for the next twenty years that yesterday you went to the opening night of Star Wars with a bunch of people you met at a cosplay convention,” Iwaizumi said.

“Well then looks like I’m unemployed for the next twenty years, because I met them at a comic-con, and there were only three of us.”

“What Hogwarts house are you?”

“Ravenclaw, but that proves nothing, I already told you I value the cultivation of my intellect.”

“Who’s your favorite poet?”

“Dr. Seuss, if it doesn’t rhyme it is not poetry I’m interested in reading.”

“Were you or were you not the kid that reminds the teacher to assign the homework?”

“That was just to piss the other kids off!”

“You even have those old-school glasses, so no matter how forward you dress everyone knows what you really are.”

“You know you could’ve waited a day and let me have my self-satisfaction, before you lay three months’ worth of merciless evaluation on me. Thank you very much for the insight, but I’m putting an end to this conversation.”

He turned his shoulder and looked resolutely out the window, but he was still listening keenly for the reply. It didn’t come, and didn’t come, until:

“Wow. Persistence actually does pay off. I finally shut you up.”

Oikawa looked at him. Iwaizumi was smirking, and as he broke the eye contact he laughed a light hum. A surprised delight broke over the passenger’s face, and he laughed too.

 

They walked to the building, let themselves in, and went down the stairs into their hallway.

Oikawa sighed with exaggerated shoulders.

“Thanks for coming to your nerd neighbor’s last scholarly frontier.”

“Bullshit, you’ll be back in by next fall. You don’t know any better.”

Oikawa deferred his protest to watch the man open his door and scoop the waiting cat into his arms.

“Ahh, how are you baby girl.”

“Iwa-chan, do you mind not pulling that shit in front of me? You know when I go into my house my cat will show me the piss he managed to spray up the back of the couch.”

“Here, hold out your hand.”

“Um…”

He obeyed, and Iwaizumi tilted the cat toward him.

“Give Oikawa a high five for his good work. High five, Shoyo, high five.”

The little orange paw reached out and touched his hand. Oikawa stared. Then he looked at the grinning Iwaizumi.

“I hate you.”

The teacher laughed heartily, and before Oikawa could recover his voice he had already gone into his apartment and closed the door. The brunette stood dumbly for a moment.

“Goodnight.”

A voice came through the barrier. “Night.”

As Oikawa walked the hall he began to groan softly in his throat. It grew louder as he shoved the key into the door, opened it, then shut it, and ended in a full shout of derision as he entered the apartment.

“Dammit! Guess what Tobio, I slayed those old bags during my defense today, then I had a great meal with my family for the first time in months, then I got a ride from a beautiful fucker of a young man, and I come home and go figure—I hate myself!”

 

The following Monday Oikawa had a whole 24 hours of freedom. He was doing some floor planning for work, but it was purely fun, the kind of challenge he especially liked, and he had Christmas music playing through his phone.

The familiar beginning of his favorite holiday tune came on, and he belted his response immediately.

“The snow’s coming down!”

He leapt up.

“I’m watchin it fall.”

He spotted Tobio near the kitchen and sang to him, making gestures against his chest. Then a grin spread on his face, and he started around the couch toward the cat.

“Don’t you run, Tobio.”

The animal had tensed. It gave a groan of warning, but Tooru picked him up anyway and held him like Simba as he flounced around.

“Cause I remember when you were here, and all the fun we had last year—”

The cat twisted viciously and dug its claws into his wrist. He cried out and released his hold, then scrambled to try to keep him from falling. He caught just in front of the back legs, but Tobio was already stretching his front feet toward the ground, so Oikawa let him land there and immediately run away.

“Grinch! Scrooge! I don’t need him anyway, I’ll just—Ha! I know.”

He went to a kitchen drawer, and dug out a key, which he proceeded to utilize in gaining entrance to Iwaizumi’s apartment. The orange cat, which now qualified as fat, was curled on the arm of the sofa but ready for anyone’s entrance. She hopped down before he could worry for her safety and came to his feet already purring.

“Yaaaay, how are you my dear?”

She curled against his chest and he petted her head.

“Tobio utterly refused my wishes, I guess it’s only whatever _he’s_ in the mood for, hm?”

He took her back to his place. Tobio was nowhere in sight. Oikawa turned up the music and twirled around with this cat, who was more than happy with the arrangement. A new song came on, not holiday themed, and the brunette hollered.

“Ahh yeah, gotta get the hips into it!”

His laughter and singing eventually brought the other animal back within the vicinity. He crept closer, and closer, until Tooru finally saw him. After they had made eye contact, the cat ran up to his feet and actually touched one with a paw, looking up. Oikawa laughed at him.

“You hypocritical bitch.”

As the pair spun Tobio tried to keep up, tried to get involved by weaving himself between the man’s legs.

“Stop it Tobio, you’re gonna trip me.”

After he had indeed nearly succeeding in killing the dancers, Oikawa returned to the couch, now with the orange cat lazing in his lap and the black one on the floor pressing against his leg. Shoyo rolled onto her back and stretched. He huffed his disapproval, but with a smile.

“You are a sweetheart, it’s just not fair! Anyone would fall for you, and of course Hajime never had a chance. And you love him, don’t you, sooo much.”

He scratched under her chin.

“I’ll tell you right now, you look adorable carrying those kitties, so don’t you stress about that for a second.” He patted the swollen tummy. “You’re perfect. Stunning. See how Tobio’s staring? He’s digging that baby weight too. By the way,” he said to the other, “It’s not happening.”

“Is he really a saint, Shoyo? Aren’t there any cracks in his conscience? You’d really make me feel better if you said there were. Tobio’s a piece of shit, he’s super easy to get over, right? But Iwaizumi-san…Has he ever done the nasty? He probably let you watch, if he has. And why is he single? There has to be something, something you’re not telling me. He doesn’t seem like he’s dragging himself out of a recent catastrophic breakup. He’s got his whole life together, perfectly in control…”

“Maybe he’s a porn addict. Or smutty fanfic, he’s a big reader right? Maybe he’s got a work thing with the guidance counselor or the principal. Please just tell me!” He pumped her little legs up and down.

“Iwaizumi Hajime. Iwaizumi Shoyo. Yeah?” He smiled at her attention. “Iwaizumi Hajime. Iwaizumi—Tooru. I dunno, I always kind of liked my last name. That was before my parents made me out as a fucking disgrace to it, of course.”

“Do you get to share the bed with him? Is he ever shirtless? I’ve been pretty lucky, but never that lucky. Modest bastard.”

Then he bent over her to get his phone from the coffee table.

“Did my little socialite brat of a nephew condescend to answer my text?”

He saw the time.

“Shit! He’s gonna be home, I have to get you back over there. Even I with my whimsical charm couldn’t explain innocently that I have his key and his cat.”

He was two feet from the door, with Shoyo in his arms, when it flew open.

“Have you seen my cat?”

Iwaizumi looked properly at them and his eyes blew out wider. He reached forward and Oikawa quickly handed her over. After he had taken her in one arm he shoved him in the shoulder with the other.

“You had to leave my fucking door unlocked, dickwad, I thought she got stolen.”

“I’m sorry.”

The heated brown eyes died down as he bounced her a little in the crook of his arm, and observed that she was fine. Then he looked back up and said low:

“What the hell were you doing?”

“Tobio wouldn’t play with me, so I borrowed her, we were just goofing around.”

“What exactly does that entail?”

“We were—dancing. No humping songs, just innocent Christmas jingles, I swear.”

“Uh huh.”

“Okay there was one humping song. Despite his promiscuous tendencies Tobio was being a buzzkill, so I replaced him.”

Iwaizumi backed out of the apartment.

“Well, thanks for checking on her, even though that’s not what you meant to do.”

“Oh yeah no problem. I will check on her,” he said, stopping the other’s departure. “If you think someone should when you can’t. I’d like to, because I—I think I love your cat.”

Iwaizumi raised a brow, but Oikawa didn’t look at him, only smiled at Shoyo.

“You can come see her, when I’m not around,” Iwaizumi said. “Since you can and obviously will force entrance anyway, I might as well give my permission.”

Oikawa gave a light laugh. He stepped into the doorway to watch them go down the hall. Then Iwaizumi turned back around.

“Are you already feeling the pressure of too much free time?”

“No, it’s quite refreshing actually, I feel more accomplished dancing with my neighbor’s cat than pounding out pages for an analysis.”

“Ha. Maybe you should go out.”

“Where?”

“A bar?” he half laughed. “For goodness sake are you an actual hermit?”

“No, what I am is a twenty-five year old with a Master’s under my belt, I’m not cut out for the night life anymore.”

“I’m sure it wouldn’t take you long to get back into form. I’ll even come bail you out after things get crazy, how’s that for encouragement?”

“Why are you encouraging?”

“Well for one thing it’d be pretty damn funny to see your face when they ask for ID, because I know for a fact you’re not at all aware you still look like the valedictorian.”

“Ah!”

Iwaizumi laughed.

“Well if we’re going to talk about looks,” said Oikawa, “What the hell’s your excuse for the devoted-to-duty soldier bod and yet the refusal to ‘go out,’ as you say. What kind of a sick motive is behind physical fitness that’s never employed in the use of attracting copulation partners?”

“How do you know it’s not employed in that?”

“I’d be more than glad for affirmation of the positive! But you need to step up your dick game, I’m at the opposite end of the hall.”

“Shut the fuck up,” he chuckled.

“No can-do? In that case you have a good night with your cat and I’ll have a good night with mine and we’ll agree to cease criticism.”

“Deal.”

Oikawa returned to his fortress. The teacher laughed a little more as he went into his own.

 

The next time they met was a genuine accident; Iwaizumi was going out by necessity, and Tooru was coming in from his 10 o’clock shift.

“Hey.”

There was already a small smile on the teacher’s lips, which made Oikawa start to smile.

“Hey.”

“I’m getting groceries, you need anything?”

“A—Um, I’m sure I—Yes. That answer from me is always yes.”

“You wanna come?”

“I—I—Let me grab my list.”

He didn’t have a prepared list, but he needed a grace period to catch himself up to the situation. Apparently unexpected and upfront invitations from Iwaizumi were not something he was built to handle. He dropped his bag by the door, pulled a sticky note off the counter, folded it and shoved it in his pocket as he relocked the door.

Iwaizumi was on the front steps, hands in his pockets and eyes on the black sky. He turned when Oikawa opened the door, then started across the lot to his car.

“How was work?” said the shorter.

“Good, how about you?”

“We all goofed around today, it was the last day before break.”

“Fun,” he smiled, catching up to his side.

“Yeah, kids are pretty much a fucking blast this time of year.”

There was still an upturn around Iwaizumi’s mouth. He seemed to be in a high sort of mood; Oikawa attributed it to the start of vacation.

They were quiet while he started the car and moved out of the lot.

“Your retail busy right now?” said the driver.

“The place looks like a tornado swept through, and the staff pretty much like survivors of that.”

“Is it a better year than last?”

“We’re already at an eleven thousand increase for the month.”

“Congratulations.”

“Yeah, thanks.” He glanced at Iwaizumi. “How are your kids? Are they where you wanted them to be before break?”

“The effort was consistent all the way through. That’s how I judge success.”

Oikawa smiled into the side mirror, then smiled harder as he saw that he had on his cutest stocking cap, a knit of browns and creams with a ball on top and dangles on either side.

“So, you’ve got that degree now,” Iwaizumi said. “What are you gonna use it for?”

“What do you think I should use it for?”

“If you like that job, and you’ve been there forever, will you leave?”

“I don’t know. I guess it’s not time, if I don’t feel the need to yet.”

“Would you work at another corporation, in a higher position? Bigger company, different industry…?”

He huffed. “Working for a corporate’s hard. I might want to start my own…Because I know it doesn’t have to be, and shouldn’t be.”

“What’s hard?”

“There’s so much you have to give up morally. Not just in the sales system, the credit system, but what you sell, and who works for you and who you work for. And most of it won’t bother me and my liberality, but it might really eat at somebody else, and I don’t believe any worker should have to be in that position.”

“Mm.”

“Like, okay, this is an example I’ve always thought about. What if our CEO gets child pornography charges brought against him. But I’ve invested ten years and my retirement into this company. The morally sound thing to do would be quit in protest. But if my livelihood depends on that job, would I have the gall to leave it? Good karma doesn’t guarantee food on my table. Now he by doing that has put everyone under him in the position of looking like we support something that we don’t.”

“But the CEO made an individual decision on that,” said Iwaizumi, “And you people in the worker’s relationship have nothing to do with that personal choice. If he doesn’t suffer consequences, yeah you should definitely raise some hell, and quit if you have to. But some despicable thing the guy does as a human being doesn’t reflect on you or your company, in my opinion.”

“Okay, that’s fair. On a large public scale things are more black and white. But consider a day-to-day scenario. My company uses plastic bags. Plastic is an environmental atrocity hurtling us toward resource devastation. How can I justify my employment there? Or, the fact that half our products are fabricated overseas, in factories of which we know nothing of the working conditions, and under governments with whose operations we are unfamiliar. You see? Should the millions of corporate workers in this country have to deal with that kind of moral dilemma for every working day of their lives?”

“Now I’m wondering how you’ve dealt with it for even this long.”

“I have to be as proactive as I absolutely can,” Oikawa said. “Two years ago there was this whole thing with the baby and toddler clothes we carried. I have a problem with the entire system, not just our store, but that’s where I have the power to actually do something.”

“What’s the problem with the system?”

“Oh gosh, Iwa-chan, you don’t wanna get me started on this.”

“I asked, didn’t I.”

“Well, for one thing, it’s bullshit that our society is so consumed and defined by gender lines that we start reinforcing them the minute the kid is born. And, it’s completely ridiculous how parents act so terrified of the monster their kid will grow up to be if they don’t dress them the ‘acceptable’ way, even for the first ten years when they don’t know what the fuck they’re wearing, and if they did know, wouldn’t give two shits about anyway. Secondly, a lot of the maker companies are fucking steeped in misogyny. No son of mine will ever, at any point in his life, be wearing a shirt with ‘lady’s man’ on it.”

“And people wonder why rape culture is a major defining trait of this society.”

“I know! You see how it’s a problem, how it would keep me awake at night, our selling onesies with these creepyass slogans on them. And all of it, the color schemes, the trucks and tools, ‘daddy’s handyman’ versus ‘mom’s little shopper,’ it’s all so twisted and tilted already at that age that by the time the kid’s a teenager he _is_ confused, and probably warped inside.”

“What’d you do about it then?”

“Wrote. Letters, emails, to district managers and the CEO’s inner circles. My manager got me an opportunity to present at the regional meeting to the ‘Developing Issues’ panel, so I was happy about that. It’s not like everything’s fixed, but they did send requests out to some of our providers about censuring certain types of merchandise from our store, and corporate actually stopped carrying one of the brands I and some other districts were especially critical of. Their head got canned when it came out that he’d sexually abused his secretaries, so that helped our case. God knows that’s the last thing I would ask for in order to prove a point, though.”

They had made it to the store, and now Iwaizumi shut off the car and turned to stare at him.

“What?”

“You’re aware that you’re fucking terrifying, right?”

“What? Why?”

“We should all be thankful you’re on the good side,” said Iwaizumi. “For now, anyway.”

He got out and Oikawa followed.

“Did you assume I was a man of no convictions?”

“I assumed you wouldn’t be open about them, if you had any.”

“What’s the point of that, how would I get anything accomplished?”

“You’re really fucking scary.”

“Iwa-chan!”

Oikawa was needing some lighter banter to loosen him up after their discussion, but that was not what he got. Instead he had to watch Iwaizumi pushing a shopping cart, Iwaizumi picking out fresh produce to fuel that godly body, Iwaizumi asking him questions about his diet. And during all of this, being painfully aware that he was beside Iwaizumi, acting as if this were their regular thing, a simple, good thing that they did together. He didn’t know whether to vomit up the squirming feelings in his guts and walk away hollow, or force the feelings down deeper, into a place where they were satisfied with their room and could lay still. In several moments he caught his cheeks heating up for no reason at all, when the teacher was saying nothing in particular, and wearing no certain expression cursed to undo him.

By the time they got to the car, Tooru wasn’t talking. He thought it should have alarmed Iwaizumi, but apparently it didn’t. He must be relieved, then. He was tapping one finger against the steering wheel, and didn’t seem particularly aware of anything. Maybe he was—content? After another minute of silence, Oikawa finally had a bright thought.

“Hey, you wanna come to my Christmas party at work? It’s on the 23rd after we close, it’s just basically a formal bull session, with snacks.”

Iwaizumi glanced. There was something in Oikawa’s eyes; not pleading, but something.

“Nah,” he said.

“Come on, you don’t have to wear an ugly sweater or anything. It’s like two painless hours, you can meet some people.”

“No thanks.”

“Do you have _plans_ on the 23 rd, Iwaizumi? I highly doubt—Oh wait, shit. I forget other people have—Are you leaving to visit family?”

“No, I’m not, because I have Shoyo. She’s due right around that time, so I have to be there, basically for every second. I would go, I’d like to go,” he said, “But I can’t leave her alone.”

“I totally had no idea, I never asked when she was due. I guess I have to accept your excuse. It’s cool, I’ll go stag and bask in the relief of not having to coordinate outfits with you.”

“Oh I get it, you were gonna take advantage of the fact that everyone at work thinks I’m your housewife.”

He burst out laughing. “What? What the hell do you mean, they think that?”

“You should’ve seen the looks I was getting when I brought dinner for you. One time. And I meet your brother one time and he asks if we’re screwing, apparently everyone around you’s anxious as hell for your domestic security.”

“I suppose it’d be a relief to have such a major temptation off the market.” He didn’t give Iwaizumi time for more than a snort. “Anyway you’re a little beyond me, Iwa-chan, I was just gonna let everyone assume you were my hot date.”

“I think you have enough pull at that place, you don’t need another leg up.”

“Well if I have one so readily available to me, why not? If they’re all really so eager. You can keep me off the desperate path, Iwa-chan,” he murmured, “And help my brother sleep at night. I’ve done everything I can, but no position’s going to open up for me. So I’m gonna have to force it, I’m gonna have to sleep to the top. If it’s not you, it’ll be with somebody else.”

“I think you’d have better luck just talking.”

“Way to word that ambiguously enough for me to take it as a compliment.”

“You’re welcome.”

Oikawa turned to the window and smirked. Iwaizumi parked the car, then they walked to the front door.

“Iwa-chan.”

“What, dumbass.”

“Ah! What the hell is your problem,” he smiled, “What about my tone was asking for attitude?”

“I was just using a nickname, same as you.”

He laughed and hit his shoulder. “You asshole. Anyway, I want a call when Shoyo goes into labor. Or whatever you call that in reference to cats. I wanna be there and help if I can, so call me, okay, even if you know I’m at work.”

Iwaizumi stopped at his door, and Oikawa stopped with him.

“I’m really serious about this.”

“Sounds like the typical out-of-wedlock father, showing up for the birth after failing to support her during the pregnancy.”

“Well they’re just following the pattern, aren’t they?” said Oikawa. “They don’t put the ring on it and vow their companionship, they just do enough to convince her to spread her legs. Which, oh my fucking gosh, is the most demeaning fucking misogynistic bullshit phrase ever. Never let me use that again, Iwa-chan, even in mockery.”

“So if I call you’re gonna show up?”

“Of course. I’ll leave work for her, Iwa-chan. Seriously. So call me.”

He started down the hall.

“I’m gonna need your number then, Shitty-kawa.”

He turned, with an oddly passive look.

“Yeah, I guess that’d be helpful.”

As he came back he fished a pen from his coat pocket.

“Should I carve it into your door?”

“Sure, we can put ‘call for a good time’ and maybe you’ll get to use your Britney Spears ringtone for once.”

“I couldn’t help being born in the nineties, therefore I’m absolved of all associated sins. Here.”

He grabbed the teacher’s wrist and turned up the inside of his arm, to write his number there on the skin. Iwaizumi had not been expecting the contact and was frozen. He ventured one glance, only to see that mother-of-all Oikawa faces, his tongue sticking out as he wrote. Then Oikawa let go and stepped back, and looked at him, revealing one expression that Iwaizumi had never seen before. He was scrunching his nose childishly, teasingly, and now he wasn’t even valedictorian anymore, he was thirteen or fourteen, just coming into his teenage element, just at the precious stage of developing his snarky attitude, but maintaining that purity which at the moment made it all forgiven.

Iwaizumi suddenly realized the face was no longer in front of him, that Oikawa had turned his back and was already nearing his apartment. He opened the door and called loudly enough for his neighbor to hear.

“Tobiooo. It’s Britney bitch.”


	3. Part 3

It was Saturday, the 23rd, and they were an hour into the party when his phone vibrated in his pocket.

“Hello, Oikawa speaking.”

“Hey it’s Iwaizumi,” said the other. “It’s time.”

“She’s having them? Wait, has she had any yet? Is she already in the process? How dare you wait to call, were you embarrassed about sending a false alarm?”

“Shut up. She hasn’t had any yet, she’s definitely getting there. So if you want to see—”

“I’m on my way.” He had made it to his desk and was grabbing his coat and bag. “Is she dilated, is that how it works with cats? Did she start breathing heavy? How can you tell she’s—Was that her?”

“Yeah, pretty sure the whole building can tell. I gotta go. The door’s open, make sure you’re quiet when you come in, and come slowly so you don’t spook her.”

“Got it.”

“Bye.”

Oikawa waved to the party, which had gotten considerably quieter in his absence.

“Bye everyone, Merry Christmas!”

“Bye,” they chorused.

“Have a good one.”

“Relax a little!”

Oikawa ran to his apartment, threw his bag inside and kicked off his shoes, then hurried back the other way. He stepped in and announced himself in a subdued way.

“I’m here.”

He moved across the room until he came to the first door down the hall. It was ajar. He peeked through and saw Iwaizumi, who was already looking for him.

“Come in quickly and she won’t—” he paused during a yowl—“Won’t notice you’re here. But stay behind me.”

Oikawa obeyed. In his own house this tiny extra room served as storage; for Iwaizumi it was apparently an office. He began to kneel down on the left of where Iwaizumi was, but midway through he started and gasped, lurching back to a straight stand. The cat’s legs were stiff and straining, and there was a bloody and oozing mass already halfway out her rear. Oikawa dropped down, covering his mouth.

“Come on baby girl, almost there,” Iwaizumi murmured. “Come on.”

It was born before their eyes, and when it plopped onto the towel they both froze for a moment. Shoyo turned her head and strained to reach back, sniffing the creature encased in gummy substance. But then she turned back around without touching it.

“Shit.” Iwaizumi grabbed a towel from beside him, muttering again for emphasis. “Shit.”

Ever so gently he scooped the creature up, then with shocking vigor rubbed it between the folds of the towel. Oikawa watched, astounded. When he revealed the thing it was now a distinct crying animal, free of fluids. He lowered it toward its mother, who was lying on her side, breathing with difficulty.

“Here you go, Sho, here’s your baby. Here’s your baby, Shoyo. Come on,” he added in a whisper.

The cat lifted her head. Iwaizumi set the kitten down, where it squirmed a little as its mother sniffed. Then Shoyo raised herself up and leaned in to lick it.

“Good girl, Shoyo.”

Oikawa tore his eyes away to look at Iwaizumi, at the smile that had plastered his face.

“That’s my good girl, Shoyo, that’s my good girl.”

She became so absorbed in cleaning the first that she didn’t notice until the last moment that the second was coming. This one she cleaned herself, until the third was upon them and Iwaizumi had to help her finish. And so it went, for all of thirty minutes, until six were alive and crying to be nursed.

Iwaizumi slumped back on his knees. “Good fucking grief.”

Oikawa felt the strain in his nerves easing, but painfully.

“I should’ve just taken you in, Shoyo,” said her owner. “This is fucking stressful. You’re a good little mom, though, I’m proud of you.” He stroked once down her back.

“I am too.”

Iwaizumi looked at him.

“She’s so strong, what a deceptive little fluffball.” He leaned forward and brushed the back of one finger over the nearest baby. Then he covered his face with his hand. “They’re so cute, I want to eat my heart out.”

Iwaizumi laughed, and the rest of the room’s tension melted. The kittens ate noisily but in peace for a solid few minutes. Then Shoyo’s head rose and she let out a stiff meow, that clearly startled her owner. The men turned to see Tobio slinking through the office door.

“Hey now.” Iwaizumi slid a little closer to his cat. “Tobio, back off.”

“Get out of here,” Oikawa barked at him. The black cat came forward.

“He’s probably gonna be aggressive,” Iwaizumi said. “I think the males usually are.”

“Of course he will be, he’s already proven that, and what else is he good for?”

“Shoyo’s not really worrying, though.”

They looked at the orange cat, whose head was up, whiskers twitching. Tobio was staring at Iwaizumi, who, to Oikawa’s horror, shuffled out of the way.

“Iwa-chan no, he probably wants to kill them! She should be left alone, it’s too early—Tobio no!”

The teacher shushed him. Tobio skirted around near the wall and approached the scene. Iwaizumi had ready hands out in front of him as the cat came to stand over the kittens. He looked, leaned in to smell, then leaned farther, and began to lick one.

“Oh—my—gosh,” said his owner. “Tobio you big fucking softie.”

The cat ignored the comment and bent over to clean another of the babies. Then he backed away from the group, stopped next to Shoyo’s head, and licked the side of her face. It was now too much for Oikawa, who teared up.

“Seriously?” said Iwaizumi.

“It’s sweet!”

“I’ll tell you what wasn’t, everything else. Childbirth is ugly.”

“What? It’s totally beautiful, you scrooge.”

“It’s brutal, and a mess. It’s hard to even imagine someone like you coming into the world that way.”

“I—What are you even—talking about? Shut up.”

Tobio had now satisfied himself, and walked out of the room, leaving the mother with the crying kittens.

“I wonder which ones are female and which male.” Iwaizumi petted one with a finger.

“Can you even tell that this early?”

“Well I can’t, but I’m sure it’s possible. You’re the expert on genitalia and related vocabulary, why don’t you give it a shot.”

He snorted. “Shut—up.”

Oikawa reached out, resting the bottom of his hand against the floor, and touched the tip of his finger to one teeny teeny paw. His other hand moved to cover his mouth and the painful smile. He caught Iwaizumi looking at him, and shoved him away as he turned to hide his face.

“Don’t look at me, look at them.”

“You wanna keep one, don’t you.”

“At the expense of some child’s cherished Christmas wish, yes. I don’t care.”

Iwaizumi chuckled low. “And you have the audacity to call your cat a softie.”

“Look, Iwa-chan, with your eyes.”

“Yeah,” he said, “I’m looking.”

At Tooru, with his soft flippy stupid hair, the precise brows behind his glasses, just a few scattered freckles under the pink tinge of his cheek. Iwaizumi was looking all right.

 

On Christmas Eve Oikawa worked ten to six, then for the first time in years rushed home from the store.

“Iwa-chan, hope you’re not in the nude.”

“Yeah, nice try.”

He shut the door behind him.

“How are they? How’s Mom?”

“Fine. Perfect.”

“Can I visit, or is it not a good time?”

“Go ahead. Slowly, though, give her a minute to check you out.”

“Sure thing.”

“Merry Christmas,” Iwaizumi said.

Oikawa stopped, and broke into a white smile.

“Merry Christmas Iwaizumi-kun!”

He went in and laughed and cooed over the sleeping kittens and dazed Shoyo. Then he came back to the room where Iwaizumi was doing paperwork.

“So. Big plans for the evening?”

“I’m officially confined to the building,” he said. “And I’m not much for playing host. So this is it. You?”

He had looked up, and Oikawa noted it.

“No plans.”

“Not going to family dinner?”

“Nope.”

“Not to your brother’s?”

“He’ll be a member of said dinner party by now.”

“What should we do then?”

“I don’t know about we,” said Tooru. “I am in no way involved with your pathetic life. I will be watching the Christmas movie marathon on channel 17, for the better part of the night.”

“You might as well come watch over here.”

“I have several reasons to refuse, but I don’t feel like using any of them, so all right.”

“Did you eat dinner?”

“I’ll go scrounge.”

“I’ve got leftover casserole. Not much of a holiday feast, but—”

“Say no more.” He opened the door, swinging his bag over his shoulder. “I’ll be back.”

It was Christmas, and that fact brought an air of finality for Tooru. Whatever splendidly unrealistic vision he had had around Iwaizumi was over, or should be as soon as he could fully manage it. He started now, by putting on his blue pajama set covered in sledding penguins, with the neat gray cuffs on the sleeves and pants that he was fond of. He pulled on fuzzy Santa socks, threw a blanket over his shoulder, and let Tobio follow him out the door.

When he got back Iwaizumi was gone from sight. The microwave was already running. Oikawa took the remote from the couch and turned on the movies, then went to the kitchen and hunted drawers for a fork. As he was heading back to the couch with his food Iwaizumi came out of the office. Tooru winked and went to sit down.

“You still fit into your eleven year old self’s pajamas?”

“I debated the Grinch onesie, you lucked out with this one.”

“You didn’t feel like humoring me?”

“Your apartment’s kind of on super cute overload right now. I thought I’d spare you.”

“Yeah, thanks,” he deadpanned.

Iwaizumi never did join him in front of the television. He was rummaging around the kitchen most of the time, and left often to check on the kittens. Once upon his return he found Tobio curled up in Oikawa’s lap. He let out a laugh, and Tooru turned his head.

“I can see you really despise each other.”

“We have a system. He has no one else to solicit attention from, and I find his threats extremely motivating.”

“I know one nephew that’s not getting a cat for Christmas.”

Oikawa smiled to himself.

He didn’t mind Iwaizumi’s absence. It was a simple pleasure to have someone else in the apartment, someone doing their own thing, moving industriously in the background. Oikawa was not content, but happy for the moment. Sooner than expected his hand slid out from under his chin and he fell asleep, tucked against the end of the deep couch.

Iwaizumi came out of the office from his last check-in. Seeing the man asleep and the black cat curled resolutely on the rug, he reached over the couch for the remote and turned off the television. Then he paused to look at his neighbor from the side. The blanket was pulled around his shoulder and tightly to his chest. His right leg was tucked under him, and his left stretched out to the side, with the fuzzy-socked foot and ankle dangling off the sofa.

Iwaizumi shook his head.

“I’m supposed be on vacation, Tobio, I’m supposed to be recovering from this kind of stuff. I’ve got six balls of incomprehensibly precious fluff in my spare room, and a fucking Disney princess on my couch. Go figure, huh?”

He took the blanket which lay on the back of the couch and draped it over Oikawa’s bottom half. Before he left, he ran his hand slowly, just once, up through the side of the brownie hair. Then he retired to his room.

 

When he woke on the 25th he was at first completely shocked to be in another apartment. Then doubly shocked as he looked around at the lights, tinsel, fake snow, and at the man hanging sleigh bells from a curtain rod.

“Good—Grief. Merry motherfucking Christmas, Iwaizumi, this place looks better than the store.”

“I went and got extra stuff from my classroom.”

“When? What time is it?”

“Eleven.”

“What the hell. You were dragging in boxes of shit while I slept the whole time? What else were you doing, is there something I should know?”

“No, dickshit.”

“It’s Christmas, Iwaizumi, could you try for some chivalry?”

“I decided to invite some friends over, since I can’t leave the house. They’ll be here to eat around four, do you wanna join us?”

He stretched, then flopped back on the couch. “Fine, but I better have VIP status.”

“Only if you help out and watch the babies while I cook.”

“What are we having?”

“Barbeque ribs. I figure they’re all filled up on turkey and the other usual stuff.”

“Plus you’ve got a mom recipe for ribs.”

“Yep.”

Oikawa got up, looked through a few boxes, and drug one over to the TV stand, where he started to set up figurines.

“Is this a formal event, what do I have to wear?”

“You can wear the onesie if you want. They’re bringing their kids.”

“Kids? You know kids?”

“Remember Daichi, the—”

“Mover guy.”

“He’s coming with his baby, and my coworker and his wife with their baby, and my best friends from college, they have two sons and a daughter, all adopted.”

“Oh my gosh, you haven’t had them over before have you? I’m going to be heartbroken if they were here and I wasn’t invited.”

“No, they haven’t been to my new place.”

“Good! Perfect! We’ll make a stunning first impression, and then they’ll want to come all the time. I’ll be back when my hair’s dry.”

“Lay down a little pride, it’s Christmas.”

“It’s time for the show, Iwa-chan, remember? Wait is Tobio still here? There you are, come come. Fine, stay, but you’re not meeting the kids, your behavior up to this point certainly does not warrant that. Okay, I’ll be back.”

 

Iwaizumi had the food on its way and Oikawa the place fully decked into a winter wonderland, by the time of the first arrivals. Daichi and Michimiya were 25 minutes early, which the host had predicted to his neighbor.

“Wow,” was the first thing Daichi said when he had opened the door. His wife followed, carrying in the car seat. The other two would have none of the scene admiring, were dead set on seeing the baby boy. So Michimiya peeled away the bundle of blankets and coats and lifted him out. Oikawa showed enough reserve to hold back and let Iwaizumi take him from her.

“Nice to see you again,” Daichi said, offering his hand. “What was the name? Sorry.”

“Oikawa.” He held out his hand to Michimiya. “Nice to meet you.”

“And you too.”

“What is he, three months now?” Iwaizumi said.

“Yeah.”

“What’s the name?” said Oikawa.

“Tadashi.”

He groaned. “I’ve always loved that name.”

He was leaned over Iwaizumi’s shoulder, reaching to touch a little finger. Before he had time to start fighting the teacher over handling privileges, the second infant arrived, a girl belonging to Sugawara and Shimizu. Iwaizumi introduced the male as a coworker, the school’s counselor, and that was all that was needed before he handed over his flesh and blood. Oikawa cradled her.

“Ahhh, my precious!” He touched the flower ornament on her headband. “What a beautiful complexion.”

“She is a gorgeous one.” Michimiya stood next to Tooru to admire.

“Her name is Hitoka,” said Shimizu.

Oikawa was beaming. Iwaizumi sidled over with the other infant and they stood together, doting back and forth. The relieved struck up Christmas conversation, and not until five minutes before four did Iwaizumi return the child and go to the kitchen. Oikawa followed suite and helped him turn off all the burners.

“Where’s the others, are they running late?”

“Running perfectly according to their time,” said the teacher.

At 3:58 the door opened and three kids trooped in, followed by their less-than-chipper dads.

“Iwaizumi-san!”

“Yay!”

The girl and the older of the two boys ran to him, and he squeezed one in each arm and swung them up high. Oikawa thought he may wet his pants.

“You have kitties? My dad said you did. He said you had them.”

“Yeah I did say,” Makki called. “I said there would be baby cats and real babies here, and that you have—to be—quiet.”

“We can see the kitties, right Dad?”

“If you and your sister don’t get over here and take off your boots right now, they’re going back out in the snow where they belong, and guess who’s going with them?”

Mattsun came to herd them back to the door.

“We took them sledding for two hours,” he said to the teacher. “We really tried to wear them down for you. But it only worked on us.”

Oikawa was trying not to be a creep as he drifted over to the three children.

“Hi.”

“Hi,” said the biggest boy.

“I’m Oikawa.”

“I’m Tetsurou. I’m adopted.”

He held the snort behind a wide smile. “That’s cool.”

“I know. That’s my sister, Yukie, and that’s my brother, Satori. They’re adopted too.”

“Cool. Are you guys having a good Christmas?”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah? Me too.”

“We’ve got a whole gang here, huh?” Makki was saying.

“Yeah, you haven’t met my neighbor. Oikawa Tooru. This is Hanamaki and Matsukawa.”

He turned to smile and shake hands. “Pleasure.”

“Oh I like this,” Makki said. “You look like a strong counter to the Iwaizumi influence. Make sure you hang with my kids.”

“Daddy when are we gonna see the kitties?” the little girl said.

“When you all settle down maybe Iwaizumi will let you,” said Mattsun.

“We are settled down,” Tetsurou hollered.

“Kitties,” the youngest said even louder.

“They’re inside kitties, they like inside voices,” said Makki.

“That’s true,” Iwaizumi chimed in. “You’ll have to be quiet as mice.”

“But cats eat mice!” Tetsurou said.

“Shoyo won’t eat you. But I might. You first—” he pulled Tetsurou into a headlock—“You second—” he grabbed Yukie around the waist—“And your little brother for dessert!”

“No, run Satori, run!”

The little boy screamed and ran, while the other two cried out and fought against Iwaizumi’s bara arms, until Mattsun came to grab them away.

“Dude, what are you trying to do?”

The rest of the adults were smiling at it.

“Please can we see your cats?” said Tetsurou.

“Oikawa will take you to see them, and I’ll get the food ready for when you come back.” He turned to the brunette. “You have to keep your voices low, I’m sure she’s spooked already from the ruckus. And too much handling will upset her, and they’re still fragile, so soft hands. And if they’re nursing don’t pick them up.”

“Iwa-chan why am I the one being lectured?”

The others laughed. Iwaizumi pointed the kids toward the office door, then held Tooru’s arm and murmured:

“The gray one’s theirs, but don’t tell them, their parents don’t know yet.”

Oikawa hushed them all down before he let them into the room, leaving the door ajar behind them.

“Ohhhhhh,” the little girl squealed softly.

“Hi Shoyo,” said Tetsurou.

“Okay, everybody walk slow. Merry Christmas Shoyo, how are you?”

Her ears were up, but her meow was friendly. Oikawa reached her first, then as each of the kids came near he pushed on their shoulders to get them kneeling.

“Don’t touch just yet.”

He knelt with them.

“Now let their mommy smell your hand.”

He guided Satori’s toward Shoyo, who twitched her whiskers.

“Are those ones eating?” Tetsurou pointed.

“Shh. Those two are. Aren’t they cute?”

Yukie nodded hard.

“You can hold them but you have to be very very careful. Can you do that?”

“Yeah.”

“Yes,” said Satori.

“Kay, everybody hold out your hands like this.”

Oikawa eased the first kitten out of the box, and as he brought it toward the girl’s hands she squealed a giggle.

“Are they soft?”

“Be quiet Yukie!”

“Shh, it’s okay. They’re very soft. Be careful, hold still.”

He set the darkest one in her hands.

“Okay Tetsurou, here you go.”

He gave him the fluffy gray kitten. Then he picked up a third and set it in the five year old’s tightly cupped hands, keeping one of his own safely underneath.

“Pretty cool, huh? Look how small they are compared to their mom.”

“Do they have names?” said Tetsurou.

“No, not yet. They haven’t gone to their families yet. They’re gonna be adopted, like you guys.”

“Yeah, like us!”

“Yeah,” he laughed.

“Can I put mine down and pet Shoyo?”

“Yeah, let’s all put them down. Careful.”

He took Satori’s, then helped Yukie with hers, while Tetsurou eased his into the folds of the towel and reached over to pet the orange cat. She purred, and the younger siblings laughed.

“Aren’t they soft?” Tooru took Satori’s wrist toward a tiny back and let him stroke it.

“I want one so bad,” said Tetsurou, “I always want a cat but my dads don’t like them.”

“I have a cat too. He’s black, and he’s the dad of these babies.”

“ _You_ have a cat? What’s his name?”

“Tobio.”

“And he’s a black one? That’s cool!”

The younger two were petting the grown cat now, while Tetsurou touched each of the tiny kitten tails. Then Yukie said:

“How do they get the kittens?”

He froze.

“Uhhh…”

Tetsurou was looking at him now, and when the little girl did not get her answer, she turned her demanding blues on him too.

“Well…I suppose—Iwaizumi’s orange kitty and my black kitty—love each other, very much. And—if two people love each other enough, heaven will give them a special present.”

“Like a present for being good?” said the eldest.

“Like being good and getting toys from Santa?” the girl cried. He put his finger to his lips, then said:

“Yeah. Like a present for grownups who are good. Your dads love each other, and they got you guys because—they were good…We better go eat now. The kittens have to eat too, so we better let them.”

Oikawa was seated next to Sugawara and Hanamaki; for the first half of the meal he was engaged in the conversation at the right end of the folding table. Then the talks paused while Iwaizumi brought out the chocolate fondue dessert, to the delight of the kids. Makki leaned toward Oikawa.

“Wanna explain why my kids just repeated some cock and bull fairytale about baby making?”

Mattsun leaned over his shoulder. “Yeah, what the hell was that for?”

“They told you that? Just now? What’d they say?”

“That we got them as a present for being good!” Makki hissed. “You’re setting them up to be mortified by the truth.”

“We said you should counter, we didn’t want you to ruin their lives.”

“And this is already the season of lies, we’re perpetuating the whole Santa thing.”

Oikawa was red.

“Well excuse me, would you like to tell me what I should have done? What do you do when a kid you don’t know drops the baby bomb right out of nowhere? Did you want me to blow the shit wide open?”

The couple dropped their airs in perfect sync and started to laugh at him.

“Dude, _chill out_.”

“Gosh, you’re the greatest,” said Makki, “Who the hell can be that smart and that gullible at the same time? Have you taken a good look at us? What kind of respectable persons and responsible parents do you take us for?”

“He hangs out with Iwa too much, is the obvious problem.”

“Yeah, the stoicism has gravitational force.”

 

The couples with infants took an earlier leave, thanking Iwaizumi profusely as they took time to bundle up the babies. Oikawa was playing Uno with the kids, and their parents talked to the host until the kids had tired of the game. Then they went to say goodbye to the kittens, and came out to get dressed for the cold. Makki and Mattsun gave their friend warm embraces. And in all the happy chaos Oikawa made sure to slip into the hall as the others did. They waved and parted at Iwaizumi’s door. Tooru had nearly believed he would make a painless getaway, but then Tetsurou called:

“Bye Oikawa-san!”

He turned and waved. “Bye bye.”

“It was nice to meet you, we’ll definitely get together some time,” said Mattsun. “Iwaizumi can stay with the kids.”

“In order to be our friend you have to join the babysitter list, so as long as you’re cool with that,” said his husband.

Oikawa chuckled mildly. “Of course.”

“Have a happy New Year, okay, enjoy some vacation, don’t work too hard.”

“Yes, same to you.”

“Good night Iwaizumi-kun. We’ll return the favor sooner than later.”

“We’ll all get together,” Mattsun said.

“I look forward to it,” said the teacher.

Then he turned from those departing friends to the other. Tooru gave a smile, not particularly strong, and waved a little as he went into his apartment.

He had spared Tobio all the excitement, but it had been quite a while alone, so the cat was not averse to his entrance, even came forward a little to watch him closer. Oikawa squatted down slowly, and reached out slowly, and his eyes were pleading. The cat edged closer. He let the man pick him up and sit down on the couch with him. He sat still on his lap as Tooru looked through the window and watched the snow falling.

He had screwed up somewhere. A wrong turn. Now he was at a dead end, when he should be launching from the hard-won platform into the rest of his life. But he couldn’t go back, so what was he supposed to do at this point?

A wrong turn. A bad decision. Could it have been…that? His parents considered it a decision, when of course he knew it was not. But would he have traded that to be a success? As he thought briefly the things that came to mind were all the shitty ones he had dealt with, and of course he would trade those. Then he thought of Iwaizumi. And no, he would not have traded in his ability to see that man in all his glory, in the way he deserved to be seen. He would rather—

There was a soft knocking, loud as cracking thunder to Oikawa, who turned fast with a spasm straight through him.

“It’s open.”

Iwaizumi entered. He wore an oven mitt and carried a baking sheet, and had changed into gray sweatpants and an old t-shirt with the sleeves cut off; because of this there were new tattoos to see. Something circular on his bicep couldn’t be made out by Tooru, except its mixed black and white coloring. And there was an uneven patch of tightly packed spots falling and fading over his shoulder, that at first he wasn’t even sure was ink. Then something clicked and he knew they were scales, and if scales they must be Godzilla scales.

This man was, had always been, too cool for him.

“Sugar cookie?” He approached. “They’re still hot.”

“Did God send you?” Oikawa leaned over the end of the couch and lifted one off the pan. “One last temptation, just so he can be sure, and then I’m off to where I belong.”

“I offered you a cookie. Could you for ten seconds not be dramatic.”

“If this is going to be my last, I hope you did your best Iwa-chan.”

“You’re so fucking weird.”

“Yeah, sure, me. What’s with this, you have yet to satisfy the provider’s urge today?”

“It’s tradition for my mom and I to make cookies on the 26th.”

“Well doing it alone doesn’t count then, you should’ve borrowed one of Hanamaki’s kids for a while longer.”

“I’m not the sitter of choice. They think I’m going to corrupt them with classic literature and high standards of conduct.”

“Do you want kids of your own, Iwaizumi?”

A smirk and half an eyeroll. “Hell yeah, why would you waste your breath asking me that?”

“I’d never know for sure, if I didn’t ask. Do you want them right now?”

He shrugged. “They’ll come when they come. Doesn’t have to be now.” Then he broke eye contact. “You don’t work tomorrow, do you?”

“We’re closed.”

“You gonna go see your nephew one of these days?”

“After the excitement’s died down.”

“Yeah. I’ll see you around.”

“Okay.”

With each of Iwaizumi’s steps away, Oikawa felt a hard downward tug on his heart, until it was in his stomach and he was watching the door close and wishing he could puke. He looked down at the cookie he held.

It was shaped like a cat.

He winced hard as the tears came up. The first few gasps hurt his chest and throat; then he eased into a smooth and silent release, stemming the tears with a sleeve over his eyes. He had kept it down for quite a while now, the real feeling with the sharp edge that he had been weary of allowing to fully pierce him. It would be so difficult, he knew, so he had ignored it. Some things were too hard for Oikawa Tooru.

 

Ten minutes was enough to cry out and clear his eyes, and put his glasses back on. Then he picked up his cat, which had always stayed nearby, and went out, down the hall to Iwaizumi’s. He opened the door.

There was one light on in the kitchen, where Iwaizumi was slaving over his cookies, and the only other luminance came from the Christmas strings hung about. The teacher was looking up, and watched Oikawa shut the door and stand against it with his cat in his arms, in dim light.

Tooru cleared his throat, just to be sure.

“Tobio misses his family.”

“Uh huh.”

“And I—”

At the tone and pause, Iwaizumi looked up in surprise.

“I’m a twenty-five year old workaholic who’s not welcome at family functions and can’t say no to anyone who asks something of me. My job is the extent of my social life and I don’t know what I’m going to do with my thirty thousand dollar Master’s.”

For a little Iwaizumi only stared at him. Then he set down his wooden spoon and leaned over the counter on his elbows. It was not in the least an unattractive pose.

“I’m a twenty-five year old teacher in a one-bedroom apartment, with books for company and shitty neighbors who shouldn’t be allowed to own pets.”

Oikawa snorted.

“And my cat gets more dick than me,” he finished.

That brought out a breathy laugh. “Same here.”

Iwaizumi was looking at him, and something came crashing down on Oikawa, because it was one of those rare times in his life when he wasn’t sure what the person in front of him was seeing. He had to break the silence, but it was disrupted for him by the beep of the oven timer. Iwaizumi turned and pulled out his fresh cookies. Then he set down the pan, switched off the oven, and removed his mitt.

Tobio squirmed suddenly, and Oikawa bent and set the cat down. Iwaizumi was coming around the kitchen island toward him, but he stopped short, because his neighbor had a strange look on his face. His eyes were away to the side and his lips were in a tight line, and most tellingly his brows were knitted in a way that ventured something like pain.

It was a cute as hell expression, and Iwaizumi felt again that urge which had been plaguing him the last few days, given the events, that urge to toss his heart away from the rest of him. Oikawa was being shy, and Iwaizumi was being killed. He smiled, though, and couldn’t keep it off, so that the other man noticed and mirrored the expression.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

Oikawa leaned back against the door and crossed his arms. “One thing I didn’t tell you about is this neighbor I have.”

The teacher’s brow twitched up.

“He’s super stoic and mature, unless you’ve talked to him for more than five minutes. He’s low maintenance but obscenely dedicated, to life in general. Somehow his second-rate brain always manages to keep up with me in conversation. He’s—too real to be real. There’s this totally pure smile that basically blends him in with the kids he teachers, not to mention he reads and educates himself, which is of course the sexiest shit ever. It’s all very frustrating, Iwa-chan, because he’s made up of nothing but husband material.”

Iwaizumi was only a foot from him now, but frozen there.

“What?”

He was terribly serious. But his counterpart was smiling, and challenged:

“What?”

Iwaizumi took the final step forward. “Say that again with that dirty fucking mouth of yours.”

“With my dirty mouth? He’s got the kind of body that could turn on a dead grandmother, and if he sucks dick half as well as I’ve imagined, the deal is sealed.”

The teacher started to smile, then turned his head to chuckle to the side. He looked back at the smiling Oikawa.

“Yeah?”

“Oh yeah,” the graduate said.

He was still smiling as he loosened his arms and used one to wipe at the last wetness on his cheek. When his hand came back to his side, Iwaizumi reached for it, wrapping around the back so that his fingers pressed firmly into his palm. He looked back at Oikawa, who hadn’t reacted with his hand or anywhere else, but was blank. The shorter broke the silence.

“I’ll give you something my cat didn’t get.”

Tooru’s eyes got a little wider. His cheeks picked up a tiny pink, at this teacher neighbor, of all people, turning sexy. His reply was embarrassingly weak, to his ears.

“What’s that?”

“A chance to say no.”

Which drew another snort from Tooru. Then he scanned over him with his familiar bright eye, and replied:

“Some chance.”

Iwaizumi kissed his lips.

His left hand came onto Oikawa’s waist, and the lightness of the touch somehow made it easier to feel the strength. Tooru’s free arm hugged around him. They kissed rhythmically, easy, soft, as their connected hands drifted apart. Iwaizumi’s went to his neck, and heat pooled under the touch. He put his hand low on the small of the shorter’s back.

The kiss broke and Iwaizumi breathed deeply against his cheek, then moved to kiss the corner of his mouth, to know with his lips, and Oikawa tightened his closed eyes and fought to keep down the tremors. The strong hand slid off his waist, pressed instead to the door, and crawled up until it had reached the lock.

At the click of the deadbolt Oikawa’s eyes opened and he pulled back. Iwaizumi opened his, and after a single moment Tooru rushed forward to engulf himself in the brown, and to caress with his lips as well as he possibly could, as well as the man deserved. Iwaizumi backed up, a blind step at a time, as Oikawa pressed forward, until on one fated step he felt a heel against his own heel, a leg wound around his, and now his weight falling back too fast. He went sprawling over the end of the couch, and his breath had caught up before he could even register that he’d lost it. Then a second shock as Tooru came hopping onto the couch and landed on him, triumphant. Iwaizumi gathered himself to scowl.

“I knew you’d be a smooth fucker, if you ever tried.”

Oikawa laughed, short but real. “I’ve been saving it up. Sooner or later I was gonna make you show me the rest of your tattoos.”

Then he put his hands to his neck and swept down to kiss him. The pull was slow, the pressure heavy, for several moments a blind heat. Then the arms, the beautiful arms with the beautiful black ink, came around him in a full embrace. The kiss immediately softened into tenderness. When it broke, Tooru breathed against his chin. Iwaizumi opened his eyes, but the other kept his closed as with a slight smile he held his face and kissed up his jawline, slow and light.

He heard a meow. Oikawa opened an eye and angled it, to see Tobio sitting there staring. The solid hand slipped up his neck and Tooru was drawn back in. Up to now there had been overwhelming reserve in the kisses, like their lips were jousting magnets that could never touch properly. Now they kissed for real, slow, and hot—Another meow. He pulled his head up.

“Tobio! Get away, shame on you!”

The cat took a step forward. But Tooru shooed it with his hand.

“Get.”

The cat swerved away. Oikawa glared until he was pulled back down to kiss. Unconsciously their centers drifted into contact, and the brunette couldn’t stop a breathy moan; a second later Iwaizumi hummed into the kiss. Tooru felt the vibration not so much in his lips as—

Tobio let out a rough-edged mew. Oikawa didn’t break away as he replied.

“Go away.”

He lowered his hips, intending to tease with friction, but the pressure melted him, so that he couldn’t pull away. And oh good lord, he needed that pressure, he needed the weight of the world against him in that spot—

A loud meow startled him up. The cat was right next to the couch now, and Oikawa’s eyes beaded fearlessly at the orby blues.

“You are kidding me! This is just the kind of thing you would do, you’ve been planning it all along haven’t you?”

Iwaizumi pushed him off so that he could draw his legs out from under him.

“This is some way to repay me for letting you have your fun with the neighbor, do you remember how I opened the door for you?”

The teacher got up, grabbed his wrist and pulled him toward the bedroom. Tobio jogged along behind.

“After everything I’ve done for you, taking you in against my will, feeding you out of my paycheck, cuddling you only because you _insisted_ , and in the end all you do is try to cock block. I’ll remember this next time you want salmon, or a piece of ass!”

Then the door shut on the pet, and Oikawa was pressed against it.

“Unbelievab—”

Iwaizumi shut him up.

 

He woke with that feeling of being rested at the same time that he knew he’d woken too early for the sensation to be physiologically accurate. His second feeling was that he had known when he fell asleep that he was looking forward to waking up. But when he turned over, and found himself alone in the bed, the only thing flooding his brain was curses.

He threw off the sheets and heaved himself to his feet, not noticing that he was completely naked.

“Fuck.”

The graduate’s glasses, that he Iwaizumi had taken off and put on the nightstand, were not there. He kicked around the clothes on the floor, which all appeared to be his. As out of his mouth came a murmur of profanities, in his head and gut a cloudy cold consumed every corner. He had not known, had not thought, of what Oikawa had in mind when they began, but he knew what he had had in mind, and what he had put up for grabs. The cold turned to hellfire as he considered that he must have a different name than the other for what they did last night. The heat reached his face. Was he the biggest fucking idiot romantic to be born yesterday?

He threw open the bedroom door and jogged the hall, only to skid to a halt at the kitchen. Where Tooru was standing.

He was at the island counter, bright eyed and bushy tailed as it could only be described at this time of the day, wielding a tube of icing over a pile of the previous night’s cookies. He wore a pair of Iwaizumi’s Christmas boxers and a light grey crewneck of his own, with peeling red letters that had once boldly stated the name of his high school. It was his favorite sweatshirt, but he hadn’t dug it out in a while. This morning he had felt like it. He felt good. Iwaizumi did not know this, only knew that he was looking at some beautiful still life he must burn into the tissue of his brain and keep forever. Oikawa was bent low over his work, cheerfully focused, sticking his tongue out as he lined an edge. The teacher stood perfectly still, even in his chest, as he took in the glory of the scene, and the affirmation that this would be his husband.

Tooru turned and smiled.

“Iwa-chan!”

He stepped over and took him by the shoulder as he gave a greeting kiss. He smirked as he leaned back, and patted the thick arm.

“Really Iwaizumi, you couldn’t even throw on some dirty briefs? I already told you, over and over—” he pressed his hand to the bare leg—“How breathtaking your tattoos are. I know you’re starved for praise but you don’t have to be _that_ obvious.”

Then he removed his hand from the inked dragon that slithered among full bloom flowers, stretching from Iwaizumi’s hipbone down the outside of his thigh and buttock.

“Look look.”

Oikawa picked up a cookie and held it out to show. It was a cat, flawlessly frosted with pale orange and a darker orange for the stripes, which were laughably realistic.

“Freshly frosted, for my crazy cat neighbor’s breakfast.”

Iwaizumi didn’t respond, only looked from the cookie back to him.

“Come on Hajime, I know you’re weak for your little orange kitties.”

He poked at the corner of his mouth with the treat. Iwaizumi grabbed his wrist and got the cookie to his mouth, took a bite, then pulled him in around the waist and kissed him with crumbly lips, good and long.

As he walked back to the bedroom he said:

“Put on some real clothes, we’re going out.”

“Where?” Tooru leaned into the hall. “Iwa-chan where are we going?”

 

It was still plenty early when they rang the doorbell of Makki and Mattsun’s townhouse, and waited impatiently for the disheveled couple to come answer the cookie delivery. Makki squinted at them, then at Mattsun as he came to his side, then back at the other two.

“What the hell’s up?”

“Merry day after Christmas!” Oikawa was flushed and bright as he held out the fancy tin. “Iwa-chan baked, I did the frosting, we devoted hours to them.”

Before Makki could venture his ‘what the fuck,’ the brunette was talking again.

“And we thought of you guys as the first to tell, well, we wanted you to know—”

He held up his left hand, showing a gold band covered in chocolate diamonds.

“We’re engaged!”

The husbands literally burst into laughter, and chorused:

“What?”

Oikawa smiled as childish and cheesily as possible for him. Iwaizumi was smirking.

“I told you to get some,” Mattsun said to the teacher, “Not to get—this.” He looked to the messy morning Makki beside him.

“Oh he _did_ get some.” Oikawa pressed his bejeweled hand to Iwaizumi’s chest. “That’s why I have security now, right Daddy?”

“Fuck off.”

Then he covered his mouth and looked with wide eyes at the couple, surprising them too quickly to get a laugh in.

“Are your kids awake in there?” Iwaizumi said.

Now they laughed.

“When’s the big day?” said Makki. “The first invitation better be ours, and it better be personally delivered.”

“Oh, I have no idea. I have to get a job, we have to get an apartment—”

“You have to get your cat fixed,” said Iwaizumi.

“Yes, well, it’s all a part of the plan that we don’t have. We’ll keep you posted. That’s all, so, we’ll see you guys.”

He and the teacher turned in unison, but Makki grabbed Oikawa’s arm to keep him from leaving the doorstep. Iwaizumi kept walking.

“Sorry,” Makki said to his husband, “But I have to ask—”

“How is Iwaizumi?”

Mattsun had finished the question. Makki snorted at him, then their attention went to Oikawa.

“Oh my _gosh_ , a total sap. ‘Oh gosh please let me do this, you have _such_ a beautiful body, and you’re _so_ smart, and funny, and sweet, please let me do this.’”

The laughter was heard, and Iwaizumi knew from its tone the general topic of conversation.

“Hey. Get over here.”

The brunette obeyed.

“Ooo, better not get on his bad side,” Makki said. “Iwa’s the king of discipline, he’ll deprive you and never bat an eye.”

Oikawa was busy telling him they would have to go to his brother’s next, after they checked on the kittens. Mattsun called loud enough to be heard.

“Iwaizumi.”

When he turned, his friend held up ten fingers and mouthed the number as a question. Iwaizumi flipped him off. The husbands roared again. While Mattsun watched the couple leave, Makki pried open the cookie tin. They looked at the cats.

“We have weird fucking friends,” Makki said.

“He was your friend first.”

“But it’s not like he doesn’t deserve to be the happiest bastard on earth.”

“I know,” said Mattsun. “I thought we were gonna have to suffer misery for a few years to even out his lost time, but doesn’t look like that will be necessary.”

“Not necessary, but probably still imminent. I bet you my godfather status we’re gonna end up with one of those damn cats.”


End file.
